Chris Howlett

What Is Happiness?

What Is Happiness?

Everyone wants to be happy, so it’s probably a good idea to figure out what happiness actually is! 

People have been thinking about happiness for a very long time, there’s even a really cool book titled, “Happiness: A History” by a historian named Darrin McMahon. If you want to be happy, well, then you might want to put some thought into what exactly happiness is and of what it consists. The 18^th century philosopher, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, said: “Every man wants to be happy, but in order to be so he needs first to understand what happiness is.” 

Do you know how hard it is to come up with a decent definition of happiness? It’s hard. Here’s an example. I looked it up on the interwebs. “Happiness is the state of being happy.” How helpful is that? Not very, but it’s typical of dictionary definitions of happiness. To get at the meaning for happiness (and the happiness of meaning), you need to dig deeper.

In the discipline of psychology, that’s one group of academics that’s been thinking a lot about happiness, lately, they use different phrases for happiness. They gravitate toward “psychological well-being,” or “subjective well-being.” However helpful these terms are in the psychology world, for the rest of us, I’m not sure they bring much more to the table because now you have to define “well-being.” 

So, so let me just share with you my definition of happiness:

Happiness is the state of being of wholeness, flourishing, joy, optimism, meaning, connectedness, and contentment.

To help you get a better grasp on what it is we’re all looking for in life, I want to break down my definition of happiness.

Wholeness - being whole, being complete, sensing that your life is together, that it’s made up of all that you want it to be in this particular time.  There’s an ancient concept of wholeness found in the Hebrew Scriptures, sometimes translated as “peace;” it’s the word shalom. Wholeness implies maturity, security, and significance. I’ll have a lot more to say about wholeness in the future. 

Flourishing - I like the word “flourishing.” I use it a lot. Someone is flourishing when they’re thriving, they’re productive, they’re experiencing personal growth. Flourishing captures a sense of development and transformation. Flourishing people are engaging their talents and strengths in meaningful activities that make a difference. 

Joy - Some might think the word joy is just another word that means happiness. Joy does capture that sense of positive emotions and feelings that we often associate with happiness, but it communicates it in a deeper way. Joy is lasting, while feelings can be fleeting. Feelings are often related to pleasure, or the lack of pleasure, but joy runs deeper. Joy is pleasurable, but joy reaches to the depths of one’s being, while pleasure is more of a surface experience. 

Optimism - A sense of hopefulness about the future is a key to happiness. Not only that, but a hopefulness that what you’re doing, the activities you engage in on a daily basis have the potential to influence your future for the good. An optimistic attitude that contributes to happiness is not a pollyannish, everything’s perfect way of thinking, but a genuinely positive, forward-leaning state of mind.

Meaning - Now, this is important, but challenging. A happy life is a life of meaning. It’s a life invested in making a difference in a realm bigger than the self. Meaning has to do with leaving a legacy, making an impact, transcending the small, limited life of personal concern. There’s a lot to be said about how we can live meaningful, fulfilling lives, so stay tuned for more.

Connectedness - To be happy is to relish the relationships of life. It’s to be invested in deep, meaningful, long-term relationships with people whom you love. Connectedness doesn’t dictate the types of relationships these are. They can be family of origin, spouse, children, coworkers, and friendships. These meaningful relationships come in all shapes and sizes, the important component of connectedness is commitment. You’re committed to these people over the long-haul and they’re committed to you.

Contentment, or Life Satisfaction. A person who’s happy is content with their life. They experience a sense of satisfaction. They may be actively working to improve their life and the lives of those around them, but they’re satisfied in the moment with the progress they’ve made, where they find themselves at the current time, and the direction they’re headed. 

That’s it. A definition and quick summary of the different facets of happiness. It’s the state of being of wholeness, flourishing, joy, optimism, meaning, connectedness, and contentment. 

Hopefully, breaking it down can help you make positive changes in your life and work on building a happier and more fulfilling future.

That’s what this blog and my YouTube channel is all about. I want to help you Cultivate Happiness. The world is a better place with happy people in it! In the next weeks to come, we’ll be digging deeper into each one of these seven key components of happiness.

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Check out the video version here on my YouTube channel.

How to Be Happy(er) in a Pandemic

Can you be happy(er) during a pandemic? If you bought Zoom stock in January of last year, you’re probably feeling pretty good right now. However, money can’t buy happiness, so, is it still possible to be happy in the middle of a pandemic? The first vaccines are rolling out, which is great news! It’s still going to take a little while to make it to everyone and produce herd immunity. I’m afraid we’re in for a long winter with many of the same pandemic lockdowns we’ve been experiencing throughout 2020. How can you be happier facing the challenges COVID-19 creates? 

I’ll get into a more robust definition of happiness in a future entry, but suffice it to say, now, that happiness is another way of saying flourishing or well-being. A person who is truly happy is content and fulfilled in life. Another word for happiness is the word “blessed.”

So, how to be happy in a pandemic? It’s not necessarily easy, but it’s not impossible. Lots of factors contribute to happiness. Unfortunately, a pandemic creates real barriers. Take work, for example. One of the building blocks of happiness is regularly engaging in meaningful work that taps into your key strengths. If you’re out of work due to the pandemic, or your work is significantly reduced, well, that presents a problem.

Another area affected by the pandemic especially challenges you if you live alone: that’s relationships. If you’re a young and used to hanging out with friends on a regular basis, the closing or restaurants and bars can put a real dent in your sense of relational connectedness. If you’re a widow or widower accustomed to interacting with others at the senior center or church, the pandemic’s tossed all that into turmoil. 

Yes, there are very real challenges, but there are some positive steps you can take to help yourself live a richer, more fulfilling life, even during a pandemic.

Here are 5 Pandemic-Busting Happiness Activities:

1. Exercise. 

You don’t need a gym to exercise, regularly. A gym’s helpful, but not necessary. You just need a decent pair of shoes. Get out of the house and take a walk around the neighborhood. Don’t forget your mask in case you run into someone with whom you’d like to strike up a conversation. Conversation is another way to bolster your level of happiness, so be prepared. Exercise gets your heat-rate up and pumps oxygenated blood into your brain which is really, really good for your brain. Your brain loves oxygen! Studies show that a relatively small amount of walking every day boosts your mood and helps elevate your happiness.

2. Play Video Games. 

Now, this probably won’t be too helpful for the older set, so I’m adding a bonus at the end for you. Seriously, video games are a good way to get into a mindset known as flow. Flow happens when you engage in an activity that challenges you and keeps your mind occupied. Athletic activities, working puzzles, solving problems, and intriguing reading are among the activities that can induce flow. People sometimes refer to flow as “being in the zone.” During flow you’re totally focussed and often lose track of time. Playing video games can get your brain into flow. 

Now, to be sure, too much of a good thing can become a bad thing. So, be careful, but give yourself permission to indulge in a little Fallout or WOW or Animal Crossing, or whatever floats your boat. Within reasonable limits, video games are good for you, certainly better than the passive intake of other forms of entertainment like television or binge-watching old episodes of The Office.

3. Invest in Relationships. 

If you want to be happy, you’ll want to form and invest in deep, meaningful, personal relationships. During the COVID-19 pandemic, this has proven particularly difficult, especially for single people. Marriage provides a built in, full-time partner and companion in life. If you’re married, you’ll want to take advantage of the extra time with your spouse and be sure you’re putting in the effort to maintain a loving, supportive relationship. Whether married or single, with or without kids, relationships are vital to happiness. If you find yourself isolated and lonely, make the effort to connect with friends and family over FaceTime, Zoom, or Google Meet. You need intentional times of conversation and people with whom to share your life. This is where church small groups and Sunday School classes can be particularly helpful. You’ll want to make that extra effort, if nothing else, than to plan regular phone conversations so you can both give and receive the care and concern each person needs.

4. Make a Difference. 

Contributing to something bigger than yourself and your own happiness is a great way to actually bolster your happiness. Get your mind off you, your personal happiness (or sadness) and onto something, and, or someone else. Offering your time and energy to a worthy cause can help untold numbers of people and lift your sense of well-being as you make a difference. You can Google, Bing, or DuckDuckGo volunteer opportunities in your area, you’ll likely find an aggregate website with multiple ways of connecting to a variety of organizations making a difference while keeping a safe distance and protecting everyone’s health.

5. Take a Break from Social Media.

 During the pandemic you may be tempted to spend more time indulging some of your unhealthier habits, like watching too much television, or investing an inordinate amount of time on social media. Social media has it’s place. It’s a good way to keep up with friends and family from a distance. Some people use social media as a communication tool. However, the pitfalls often outweigh the benefits. Overindulging in social media can lead to comparisonitis, a term coined by Windy Dryden, a cognitive behavioralist. Comparisonitis is a nasty form of envy that gets hold of you when you constantly compare your real life with the Photoshopped and filtered lives people post on social media. Most of your friends don’t post their bad-hair-days, their down days, their challenges. They post happy, beautiful, cheerful moments. When you compare your regular, everyday life with the super-duper-happy-oh-so-successful life they share on Instagram, well, you’re life comes out looking kinda sorry. Take a break. You’re not seeing reality on social media, just a slice of the pie. It will do your brain some good to get off that constant comparison treadmill. Read a book. Write a blog. Play with your cat. Do something besides staring at your phone.

Bonus: Begin a Gratitude Journal.

Every day set aside a time to be grateful. Some people find this a helpful evening activity. Reflect on the day behind you and write down five or six things for which you’re thankful. You don’t have to be creative and come up with five new things every day. The important thing is that you spend time reflecting on those things for which you’re thankful. “I’m thankful for my friends.” “I’m thankful for my job.” “I’m thankful for YouTube.” I’m thankful for my spouse, my kids, my dog, my cat… Whatever it is, be thankful. 

Regularly practicing gratitude is one of the most potent activities you can do to boost your sense of well-being.

I’m convinced we’re designed for happiness. We can live blessed lives. Thankfully, we have these positive ways to keep our minds occupied, our bodies moving, and our lives engaged, even during the lockdowns, the shutdowns, and isolation of this pandemic.

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Check out the Video Version of this Post here: Cultivating Happiness

Upping Your Happiness Game

“It’s not happy people who are thankful, but thankful people who are happy.” – Anonymous

Everyone has a “happiness set-point.” It’s the general level of happiness they experience day to day. Some people are happier than others. Good things can happen that temporarily raise their level of happiness and bad things can temporarily lower their happiness. But, everyone tends to return to their set-point after a relatively short period of time.

You know how you can permanently raise your set-point? Practice gratitude. Regularly, intentionally practicing gratitude, whether it’s thanking someone for good they’ve done, thanking a spouse for a kindness expressed, or thanking God for the many blessings he’s given, regularly expressing thanks empowers us to permanently increase our happiness set-point regardless of circumstances.

God designed us this way, to be grateful, thankful, generous people. He tells us that we ought to “be thankful in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:18). So, be thankful today and watch how your mood shifts, there’s a lightness in your step, and your attitude grows more positive!

Gratitude is Good

“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.” – Cicero

I’ve noticed a trend this year on Facebook that I failed to see in the past. Perhaps I just missed out on it, or it is a new thing, but people began on November 1st listing one thing for which they are thankful every day leading up to Thanksgiving Day. This is a great idea that actually has far-reaching benefits.

It has been proven that regularly expressing gratitude increases persons’ psychological well-being. If you take time to express your thanks, you become happier. The classic study looked at college students who kept a Gratitude Journal. For a month, at the end of every day, the sat down and wrote down five things for which they were thankful. They could duplicate items over multiple days, it was just important that they do it, reflect on what they felt gratitude about that particular day. When we express thanksgiving, it’s good for us. Students who carried through scored higher on inventories of psychological well-being after the exercise than before.

For Christ-followers, we’ve always known gratitude to be beneficial. Science is just now catching up. The Apostle Paul advises us to be thankful in all circumstances (1 Thess. 5:18). He recognizes that life, itself, is a gift from God and that salvation is an even greater gift. Those of us who have received both these gifts will want to overflow with thanks to God for his infinite goodness.

Life is not always easy. Things don’t always go our way. This is true. However, that’s no excuse to ignore the many tremendous blessings in our lives every day. We simply need to open our eyes, minds, and hearts to see.

This Thanksgiving give thanks to God for his immeasurable grace and providential care. It’s the right thing to do and it will make your life much more enjoyable.

Follow Your Dreams

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My grandmother gave me a book about space exploration when I was very young. In it were pictures of the astronauts on the moon, the various spacecraft we had used to explore low earth orbit, and pictures of planets and stars yet to be explored. Among them were, of course, Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon. Armstrong died last Saturday, reminding us all of the great heights to which our nation once aspired. I wonder if we will continue to aspire to great things in the future? But, I digress. 

I was fascinated with science and amazed that the moon I could see in the night sky could be trod upon by a human being. I was in awe of what humanity was capable. At NASA, people like Neil Armstrong were inspired by President Kennedy to go far beyond what anyone could have possibly imagined a generation earlier. And they did it. It seemed almost a miracle, except it was accomplished by hard working, intelligent people using the gifts and strengths God gave them. We need miracles, but this was not one of them. It’s truly amazing what God has put into the hearts of human beings, what dreams, what aspirations, what incredible goals. 

Where in your life is there “no path”? What is it that God is calling you to be and do that no one else can be or do until and unless you follow the dreams God has given you? People like Neil Armstrong have always inspired me to think outside the box and be the original God created me to be.

The Power to Choose

“Live out of your imagination, not your history.” - Stephen Covey

Stephen Covey, the iconic author of the best-selling “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” died last week at age 79. Covey’s book, which may very well be the best selling “self-help” book of all time (unless you count Rick Warren’s “Purpose-Driven Life” as a self-help book). One of Covey’s cornerstone teachings comes from psychology, that each person possesses the ability to choose his or her own way in the world. I find this concept powerful, especially when compared to much of what was, at the time, and continues to be promulgated by major institutions in society that we are victims of our circumstances. Against this, Covey wrote that there is a space between stimulus and response and within that space is the freedom to choose.

This truth, actually, is not originated in psychology, although researchers have confirmed it through experimentation. The origin of the idea is Biblical. It never ceases to amaze me that as science moves forward, all truth is God’s truth. The timeless principles taught in Scripture are confirmed in studies delving into human nature.

“See, I have set before you today life and prosperity, death and adversity. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and holding fast to him; for that means life to you and length of days” (Deuteronomy 30:15, 19-20 NRSV). Perhaps the most important part of the creation of humans in the image of God is the freedom to choose. We get to choose life or death, prosperity or adversity. The power of choice is in our hands.

My personal history is important in forming me, but it is not determinative of my future. Nothing outside of me gets to determine my future, I do. God, in his Providence, chose to make us completely free, creative creatures. God gives us the gift of life and how we live our lives, what choices we make, are our gifts back to God.

No matter what lies in your past, your future can be full of blessing, hope, and fulfillment. Make a choice today to live in the direction of life!

 

Responding to Stress

“It is how people respond to stress that determines whether they will profit from misfortune or be miserable.” - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Viktor Frankl was a Viennese neurologist when the ravages of World War II swept through Europe. Because he was Jewish, he was caught up in the Nazi war machine and shipped off to a concentration camp. During his nearly three years of captivity in various camps he observed many things about human nature. He paid particular attention to his own reactions and the reactions of others to the intolerable conditions and inhumanity of their Nazi captors. He wrote a breakthrough book about his experiences that has influenced millions of people titled, Man’s Search for Meaning. 

Frankl describes the deplorable conditions of starvation, death, and the depths of despondency to which so many were driven during those dark days. He also observed something different about the mental make-up of those who were able to hang on and survive. The survivors, faced with the same terrible circumstances, made the decision to focus on hope instead of despair. They thought about what life was going to be like after the Holocaust and the contribution they would be able to make because of their survival.

During those difficult days, Frankl observed that humans are unique creatures in that we have the amazing ability to choose how we will respond to our circumstances. The situations in which we find ourselves are not determinative of how we think and feel about ourselves, or even about the world around us. We have the power to choose.

Frankl discovered a part of humanity inherent in us from the beginning. We are created in the image of God and one of the characteristics of the image of God is free will. God has endowed us with the ability to respond, not like robots with preset reactions, but as free agents in control of our thoughts, emotions, and actions. 

Here’s the kicker. For many of us, we have been conditioned to live in a reactionary mode that minimizes our ability to make choices. We react to circumstances in kind. If the situation is negative, we react negatively. If there is stress, we get stressed out. But this is not God’s design for our best life. This is not the abundant life Jesus came to offer. By the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit we can re-train ourselves to lengthen the response time and insert our free will to make better choices. Jesus even said that when an enemy strikes us on the cheek, we’re to offer our other cheek. I don’t know about you, but I need to work on self-control to be able to follow Jesus’ direction in this respect! But God never, ever, tells us to do things he doesn’t empower us to do!

God wants us to make a contribution to the world, to his Kingdom, to his will being done on earth as it is in heaven. In order to do so, we must rise above our circumstances and choose to experience his presence and power and become the loving and joyful people he is calling us to be. We are free to choose.

 

What Is the Meaning of Life?

 
My message Road of Intellect: Christmas Road Trip, part 3 was about affirming people who have been on an intellectual journey, asking questions about faith. God does not ask that you turn off your brain when you walk into the doors of the sanctuary. To the contrary, as the architect of our amazing intellect, God's desire is that we avail ourselves of the amazing capacity we have for reason and scientific inquiry.

Charles Wesley was a gifted poet and hymn writer. Some question whether the Methodist Revival in England in the 18th century would have gone anywhere without Charles' music. In the quote above he longs for the time when knowledge, the expanding field of human intellect, would join forces with a thriving piety, a people dedicated wholly to serving God's purposes. Basically, he wanted Christians to use their brains!

I don't want to rehash the issues raised in the message, you can go online and listen or download when it gets posted. What I want to do is explore another question. Questions are good. The first action the magi took upon observing the star must have been to ask a question: "What does this mean?" Questions sometimes lead to answers which often lead to more questions. The most fundamental of all questions is the existential one: Why do I exist?

Libraries are full of volumes dedicated to this question and even dedicated to the question of why we ask questions. Philosophy is one of those disciplines that continues to grow in volume and complexity with each passing generation. In our post-modern times, philosophy has become a kind of king of disciplines in which all questions lead back to fundamental questions philosophy is asking. But there is no more fundamental question than that of existence. Why am I here? What is the meaning of life if there is any meaning at all?

Immediately I am thinking of what the response of some of my good friends might be to this question. They might say something like, "Oh, boy, you ask too many questions." Or, "That's the problem with education, you get a little and then you're basically useless!" These are well-meaning friends, and at the end of the day, they may be right!

But it doesn't stop me from wondering.

For one who is committed to Jesus Christ as the Savior and Lord of the universe entire, this is an important question. For if God was willing to sacrifice his Son for human life, then human life must have meaning, a meaning that is far beyond simply existence as a random conglomeration of nucleic acids.

The authors of the Westminster Catechism gave a relatively simple answer to this most complex and confusing of questions: "The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever." I really like this, however, it is not a logical answer. The question reads: "What is the chief end of man?" The question assumes one answer. Their response, however, posits two answers: glorify God AND enjoy God. Now, it might very well be that to glorify God implies that I will enjoy God, or that enjoyment of God will ensue, but that wasn't the question. The question was about what the singular goal, end, or purpose of man (humanity) is.

I do not have the time to write, nor do you probably the time to read, a full blown argument about what I believe to be the meaning of life, but I do want to summarize my thoughts based on a bunch of the reading I have been doing for my dissertation, particularly, the theological reading.

The meaning of life is simple. It is, to say in one word, love. Humans were created to be loved and to love. Period. That sums up the entirety of the Old and New Testaments. It also is a very nice and neat restatement of all the theological reading I have ever done. God is love. This is what makes up God's very being and personhood. God is Trinity. The community of relations between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit is being extended to include all of God's creatures and it is in this relating, to God and thus to one another, that life finds it's highest meaning.

Love. This is what gives life meaning. This is meaning. We are in relationship with God whether we realize it or not. The goal of evangelism ought to be to help people awaken to the reality of their true selves and to discover the joy and hope found in knowing they are loved.

Maybe John Lennon had it right after all, even if he didn't understand the implications: "All you need is love."