Chris Howlett

More Religious = More Happy??

Does religious participation make you happier? How does religion affect happiness? 

First of all, I must confess: I used the “Religion vs. Relationship” trope years ago in a series of sermons at Christ Church United Methodist in Lexington, KY. I was wrong to use these words in that way. I would have been better off using “Legalism or Legalistic” versus the faith that Jesus came to nature in his followers, rather than “Religion vs. Relationship.”

The way the religion vs. relationship duality usually goes is: the Pharisees were religious but Jesus offers a relationship. Both are true, but they’re also misleading. The Pharisees believed in a relationship with God and Jesus believed religion was a good thing. He was, after all, a religious Jew who faithfully, dare I say, religiously, participated in the religious life of the synagogue and on pilgrimage to Jerusalem to join in religious rituals at the Temple. The big conflict between the Pharisees and Jesus was not religion vs. relationship, but who gets to be included in the “In-Group.” Who’s worth saving? And, what is the role and purpose of the people of God in the world. There were huge differences between Jesus and the religious leaders of his day, but it really had nothing to do with the juxtaposition of religion and relationship.

Another false dichotomy is the supposed difference between spiritual and religious. You’ve probably heard someone say, “I’m spiritual but not religious.” This means they see themselves as a spiritual being with a spirituality but they’re averse to organized religion. From what I’ve seen, read, and heard, spirituality without religion is a whole lot like a baseball player without a team. You might have a ball, a bat, and a glove, but your baseball’s not going to be real useful without other people. There really is no such thing as a meaningful spirituality outside of religion. I’m developing a series of sermons titled, “Spiritual and Religious.”

Religion is good. It refers to something productive and beneficial in society and in a person’s life. Religion offers a theoretical framework, or beliefs, to comprehend ultimate reality, a practical expression through religious gatherings and actions, and sociological structures through which the religious group relates to the broader social construct. 

Does religious participation make you happier?

Yes, according to Dr. William Sander of DePaul University, who carried out a meta-study of studies. He states: “Participation in religious activities is positively associated with higher levels of happiness.” 

What these studies reveal again and again is that religious participation, not just mere affiliation, is positively associated with happiness.

You can break down the population into three broad categories: Non-Religious; Religious Affiliation; Religious Participation. The non-religious are least happy. Those with some religious affiliation are happier. Those who regularly participate in religious activities are the happiest.

Why does religious participation contribute to happiness? There are four big reasons:

1. Meaning/Purpose of Life

If you think your life has meaning, if you believe your life serves a higher purpose, then you are much more likely to be happy. If on the other hand life has no meaning outside of the propagation of DNA, then happiness will prove illusive. If all life is only a random conglomeration of molecules, then there is no higher purpose of meaning to your life or anyone else’s life, for that matter. Religion offers a framework for understanding the meaning and purpose of your life, which leads to a deeper sense of happiness.

2. Relational Connection

One of the primary causes of happiness is investing in a network of healthy, positive, life-giving relationships. People who participate in religious activities have a built-in network for meaningful relationships. So, they automatically have a leg-up on the non-religious or the merely religious affiliated.

3. A Moral Framework for Virtues

Participation in religious activities encourages morally upright behavior. Morality is the substrate from which virtues rise. Virtues form the basis of character strengths. So, character strengths are grounded in a moral framework. Without a moral framework, it’s much more difficult to believe in and thus be motivated to pursue character strengths. Regularly engaging in activity that engages your strengths is another primary contributor to personal happiness. Religion offers a moral matrix in which to understand and evaluate your life. Without religion, there’s really no basis for morality. Secular humanists have attempted to promote a morality without religion, but none of their efforts has produced a coherent, convincing, and persistent system of morality. For humanists, it’s pretty much every person for themselves and that never ends well, morally.

4. Ultimate Happiness

Thomas Aquinas, a thirteenth-century Dominican friar, philosopher, and theologian referred to what I’m labeling Ultimate Happiness as Perfect Happiness. This Perfect Happiness consists of wholeness, healing, reconciliation with God, and a home in God’s Kingdom for eternity. Aquinas taught that imperfect happiness could be obtained now, through knowing Christ and practicing a virtuous, godly life, but perfect happiness was only possible in the resurrection, when Jesus returns to establish the fullness of the Kingdom and the renewal of all things to fulfill the ultimate plan of God for his creation.

This perfect happiness, or ultimate happiness, has been initiated by the resurrection and ascension of Jesus, so that we who hope in Christ know that ultimate happiness lies in the future. We have hope, even in the midst of the fallen world, which most of the time doesn’t share our values and often actively opposes God’s will. We can experience a foretaste of this ultimate happiness now, in the present, as we find meaning and purpose in life, love of and for God, and the love of and for our fellow humans. because religious people, Christians specifically, believe in ultimate happiness, hope exists, and hope is necessary for psychological well-being.

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Check out the video here on the Cultivate Happiness YouTube Channel.

A Lesson from the Holy Trinity

“Self-giving love is the Trinity's signature.” – Roderick Leupp

When John Wesley was young, an older, wiser man told him, “Sir, you wish to serve God and go to heaven? Remember you cannot serve him alone. You must therefore find companions or make them. The Bible knows nothing of solitary religion.”

Wesley took this lesson to heart. The Methodist Movement was built on small groups of Christians watching over one another in love. We’re not a merely a collection of individuals who happen to show up at the same building on Sunday mornings (or tune into the same livestream). We’re companions on the journey, a family of faith. We belong together; we’re bound for the purpose of worship, fellowship, and ministry. We’re a band of brothers and sisters who love God, love one another, and share God’s love with a world desperate for love.

This past Sunday was Trinity Sunday. God exists eternally as a loving communion of three persons in one godhead. We worship God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. We were created in the image of God. We’re persons made for loving relationships within the body of Christ, extending that love, just as it was extended to us, to a world in need of healing, hope, and a spiritual home.

May we receive, enjoy, and share the love of the Triune God.

Busting Happiness Myths

Everyone wants to be happy. If that’s the case, why are so many people unhappy, or at least not as happy as they’d like to be? One of the reasons is because they pursue happiness through the wrong means. They do things they think lead to happiness, joy, and contentement in, but those things fail to do so, or even worse, the activities in which they engage detract from the possibility of them developing lasting happiness.

5 HAPPINESS MYTHS

1. More Money will Make You Happy

This is one of the most prevalent myths of all, that having more money will automatically increase your happiness. Not true, at least not true once you’ve gained enough resources to meet your basic needs of food, clothing, shelter, and transportation. If you can’t afford one or more of those things, then you’ll not likely be happy. However, once those basic needs are secure, more income doesn’t increase your sense of life satisfaction, or happiness. 

Think about all the energy and effort people put into making more and more money. It’s mostly a waste of time. This is not to say you shouldn’t work hard and apply yourself at whatever profession you’ve chosen. Spending time engaging your talents and strengths at work is one way to enhance your happiness as you work toward the intrinsic goals of a job well done, making a difference in the lives of others, making a mark, or leaving a legacy. The extrinsic reward of cash just doesn’t have the power to produce happiness like these other intrinsic rewards. No, more money won’t make you happier.

2. As You Grow Older, Happiness Decreases

This is true to a point, but then it becomes less and less true. It turns out the Golden Years really are Golden Years. Researchers find that, in general, a person’s level of happiness decreases significantly from their twenties to their mid to late forties, but then a turn-around takes place and happiness begins to rise. Subjective well-being continues an upward slope as they grow into older adulthood. Again, this is generally speaking, but it’s based on a large body of research carried out over many years with tons of people. The Golden Years tend to be just that, the happiest years of one’s life. So, as you grow into elderhood, most people increase in happiness. Myth busted.

I’ll share in a later post of how to avoid the mid-life crisis, or at least minimize it. Both men and women tend to go through a mid-life slump, but you don’t have to. There are strategies to expand your happiness no matter what your age and life circumstances.

3. You Have a Happiness Set-Point that Doesn’t Change 

There’s research that suggests you have a set-point for happiness that doesn’t change much over your lifetime. Theorists refer to this as the “hedonic treadmill” or “hedonic adaptation,” which basically means you have a genetic set-point for happiness. Some are happier than others. Events and circumstances change and those changes affect your happiness, for either good or ill. However, over a relatively brief span of time, you return to your set-point that seems to be genetically determined. So much for the nature versus nurture debate. Actually, the debate rages on.

As more and more researchers delve into this, they’ve discovered that genetics is only part of the picture. There is quite a bit you can do to increase your level of happiness and maintain those gains over the long-haul. While you might have a genetic tendency toward a particular level of psychological well-being, you can can manipulate that tendency over time and increase your happiness through optimal mental, emotional, and physical practices. The science of Positive Psychology has made great strides helping people grow their sense of well-being. They’re discovering truths that people of the Christian faith have known for millenia, such as the truth that moving the focus off you and onto making a difference in the lives of others grows one’s sense of joy and contentment.

4. God Doesn’t Care if You’re Happy

To hear some people speak about God and happiness, you might get the impression that God actually opposes your happiness. That, in order to be godly, or holy, or grow spiritually, you must become less happy, more miserable. There are some unhealthy spiritual approaches out there.

God does care if you’re happy. He desires your happiness. Jesus said he came that his followers might have an abundant life, a life of meaning and purpose, in short a happy life. The entire Psalter, that’s the collection of 150 Psalms in the Old Testament, begins with a prescription for blessedness, also translated as happiness. God desires a flourishing, productive, meaningful life for every human being. 

To be sure, we all fall into the trap of destructive decisions, of looking for happiness in all the wrong places. God will forgive us of our sins and set us on the path to true and lasting happiness and contentment. God wants us to be happy and he’s provided the means to be happy. I’m grateful for researchers who’ve turned their attention to optimal human functioning. They’re doing the work of the Lord, whether they realize it or not. God wants us to have healthy relationships, use our talents to make a difference, adopt an optimistic worldview, grow our gratitude, and develop personal virtues. Does God care if you’re happy? Yes, and he’s provided the means. 

5. Pursuing Happiness is Selfish

The pursuit of any good can be selfish. Some pursue what they think will give them happiness and neglect other people in the process. However, a selfishly focussed pursuit of happiness always disappoints.

Pursuing happiness doesn’t need to be selfish. The means to happiness involves turning your attention outward in order to serve your fellow human beings. Relationships are key to happiness and the only way to be develop healthy relationships is to invest in the lives of others. Narcissists tend not to have healthy relationships and find happiness illusive. The best thing you can say to a narcissist is “If you want to be happy, you’re must move the focus off yourself and onto others, your relationships, and finding meaning in service, basically, becoming a better human being.”

Developing happiness entails developing virtues. Not virtue-signaling. Virtue signaling is almost the opposite of virtuous. Cultivating moral character contributes to your happiness and that means you can’t live selfishly. Jesus calls his followers to deny the self, take up one’s cross, and follow him. This is the opposite of selfish and leads to the most deeply satisfying, happy life one can imagine. This happiness isn’t only for after you die, like bliss is something reserved for heaven. Jesus calls us to bring heaven and earth together. That leads to happiness for you and for those in your realm of influence. To pursue happiness rightly is to pursue a life that makes a difference in the lives of others.

These are five happiness myths. There are others. In future posts I’ll address more. In the meantime, thanks for reading and I hope you have a happy, blessed day.

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Check out the video version here.

Upping Your Optimism Game

It’s amazing to reflect on some of the latest findings about how our brains function. You’re brain is sort of like the wiring in a house. Habitual thought-patterns make physical changes in your neural pathways and you become set in your way of thinking and perceiving the world. That’s kind of the bad news if you’re a persistently negative, the cup’s half-empty, pessimistic person. But there’s really good news: those pathways are pliable. You can rewire your brain by intentionally altering the way you think about yourself and the world in which you live.

There are physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational benefits to becoming a more optimistic, more positive person. These all contribute to your sense of well-being and happiness. There are five practices to boost your optimism I want to share with you.

1. Practice Gratitude

Optimism is future-oriented, so why am I talking about gratitude? Isn’t gratitude more about reflecting on the past? Well, developing an attitude of gratitude about the past helps grow your optimism for the future. How you perceive the past influences how you perceive the future.

Your brain lays down circuitry, complex neural pathways based on the habitual ways you perceive your experiences. When you adopt a complaining, victimhood, grievance mindset and choose to ruminate on past problems, that way of thinking colors the way you think about the present and the future.

A perpetual victimhood mindset disempowers your ability to make positive choices. If everything is and alway has been terrible and there’s nothing you can do about it, then you’ll be doomed to a life of negativity. The flourishing life you really want to live will always be out of your grasp because you empowered others and circumstances to choose how you feel. You’ve given away your autonomy, your power to choose.

What you want to do is choose to reflect positively on your past. Reflect on those people and situations that were a blessing. Cultivate gratitude for the good. You definitely want to acknowledge the challenges you overcame, the obstacles you sidesteped, and then think about the people who were there for you to light the way. Be thankful. Ruminate on good things.

Do you know where we get the word “ruminate.” It comes from the farm. Cows chew their cud. That’s to ruminate, to chew on something. They chew on it in order to extract every last bit of nutrition so they can be healthy. You want to ruminate on things that bring you health. Gratitude helps build a healthy, positive sense of your past and of you.

You may have made some real numbskull, destructive decisions in your past. Be thankful you’re still here, that you didn’t totally blow it, that you have the ability, now, to avoid some of the bad choices you’ve made before.

As you look back with gratitude, it helps shape a more positive, optimistic sense of the future.

2. Be Future-Oriented

I’m not a historian, but I’ve studied a lot of history and to this day I read history. I think history’s important. Understanding the past, what happened, why things happened the way they did, enables us to understand the present and helps us prepare for the future. 

There are great benefits to reflecting on your personal history, on comprehending why you did what you did, why you responded to circumstances in your life the way you did. How those responses and activities were helpful or a hinderance to living a fulfilling, happy life.

But, saying all of that, I want to remind you the bulk of your mental energy needs to be focussed on the future if you want to develop a more optimistic attitude.

What are the personal consequences in the future to the action I’m taking right now or the attitude I’m adopting in the present? A future-orientation benefits you in the future.

I love that song from the musical, Annie: "The sun'll come out/Tomorrow/Bet your bottom dollar/That tomorrow/There'll be sun!"

This may be an overly simplistic attitude for some circumstances and situations, but be careful you don’t make the opposite mistake and make things too complicated. The reality is that you have the power to make tomorrow better than today based on the choices you’re contemplating right now about your actions and, especially, your attitude.

Learn from the past, but lean into a positive, optimistic future. This naturally flows into the third practice:

3. Focus on what You CAN Do

I had a really annoying teacher in elementary school who, in response to a student saying “I can’t” would always say, “You’re an AmeriCAN not an AmeriCAN’T!” If she said that once, she said it a hundred times.

Well, you can’t do everything, but you can do some things. And focussing on what you can do makes a big difference.

In mathematics there’s the concept of Set and Subset. A set is a collection of things, numbers, objects, whatever. A subset is a smaller collection of things, which are all part of the larger set.  Think about dogs, all dogs, that’s a set. There are different subsets. Chihuahuas represent a subset of the set, dogs. All Chihuahuas are dogs, but not all dogs are Chihuahuas. Chihuahuas represent a subset of the set containing all dogs.

There’s a Set of “Things I Care About” and a Subset of “Things for which I’m Responsible.”

The number of things I care about is larger than the things I’m responsible for. I care about the choices my adult children make. I’m not responsible for them. I have some influence, but ultimately, they make the decisions. I care, but I’m not responsible. My adult children’s choices are in the set of things I care about, but not in the subset of things for which I’m responsible.

I am, however, responsible for my own choices. I’m responsible for what I eat, whether or not I exercise, what I take into my brain through television and the internet, the people with whom I choose to spend my time. These things are in both the set of things I care about and the subset of things I’m responsible for.

If you stay focused on stuff that matters to you, that you care about, but don’t really have responsibility for, well, you can get frozen and do nothing, or get frustrated because all your mental energy isn’t helping, or lapse into a victimhood, negative, pessimistic mindset. 

What are you actually responsible for? What can you influence? Where can you make a difference? That makes up the subset of the things you can do, and you need to do the things you can do, not worry about the things you can’t.

4. Combat Negative Thoughts

Mindfulness is the art of being aware of your inner dialogue. Each of us has an inner dialogue that runs through our waking hours. This self-talk has a much to do with whether we’re optimistic or not. Lots of negative thoughts about yourself, your companions, and the world, will naturally lead to a more pessimistic mindset, and to a less-than-happy experience of life.

Pay attention to your thoughts. Does your mind tend toward negative explanations for what’s happening or positive? For instance, you text a friend and there’s a delay in response. Negative explanations may sound like this: “He doesn’t like me,” or “She never answers back in a timely manner,” or “I don’t really matter to him.” 

Those negative thoughts can snowball into a negative mindset, which leads to pessimism. Instead of evaluating your circumstances negatively, combat those negative thoughts with something more positive or neutral. 

“He might be on a call;” “She may have silenced her phone.” or “He’s in the middle of something, he’ll get back to me as soon as he can.” 

When you have a negative thought, you want to challenge it and substitute a better thought. Consider a student faced with a bad grade. They could say, “I’m stupid,” or “I’ll never do better than this,” or “I just don’t have what it takes.” These three explanations are almost certainly untrue, but if you say them to yourself and believe them, they may devolve into a negative self-fulfilling prophecy. 

It’s best to combat those negative thoughts and provide a substitute: “I didn’t get much sleep before that test. I’ll do better next time.” Or, “I find this subject challenging, I can seek out some extra help.” 

You’re not a bad person because you thought a negative thought, but you also don’t have to believe that thought. You can dispute it and substitute something more positive and become a more optimistic person.

5. Consider Your Friends and Co-workers

With whom do you spend most of your time? It turns out that optimism (and pessimism) is contagious.

Take notice of the people you’re around. What’s their outlook? How do they deal with adversity? Listen to them describe life and circumstances. How is this person’s optimism or pessimism affecting you? 

Just as you combat your own negative thoughts, you can combat the negative expressions of others. Now, it might not be helpful to do this out loud. I mean, you’re not looking to get into an argument. If your friend says something like, “Nothing ever goes my way!” You can simply dispute that in your own head, “That’s not really true, they just got a new job, or they’ve overcome similar problems in the past.” You may want to share more positive thoughts in subtle ways, it can help. 

There are, however, some people to whom you’ll want to minimize your exposure. The toxic negativity of some of your friends or co-workers can be a serious drag on your efforts at becoming more optimistic. At least, for a season, while you build up your positive thoughts, emotions, and optimism, you may want to invest more time in people who are positive, allowing their good vibrations to rub off on you.

These are five practices to boost your optimism. Developing an optimistic, future-oriented, outlook on life is one of the keys to cultivating happiness. I hope you can put one or more of these practices to use in your life and see some positive results.

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Check out the YouTube Video of this post here.

How to Be Happy(er) in a Pandemic

Can you be happy(er) during a pandemic? If you bought Zoom stock in January of last year, you’re probably feeling pretty good right now. However, money can’t buy happiness, so, is it still possible to be happy in the middle of a pandemic? The first vaccines are rolling out, which is great news! It’s still going to take a little while to make it to everyone and produce herd immunity. I’m afraid we’re in for a long winter with many of the same pandemic lockdowns we’ve been experiencing throughout 2020. How can you be happier facing the challenges COVID-19 creates? 

I’ll get into a more robust definition of happiness in a future entry, but suffice it to say, now, that happiness is another way of saying flourishing or well-being. A person who is truly happy is content and fulfilled in life. Another word for happiness is the word “blessed.”

So, how to be happy in a pandemic? It’s not necessarily easy, but it’s not impossible. Lots of factors contribute to happiness. Unfortunately, a pandemic creates real barriers. Take work, for example. One of the building blocks of happiness is regularly engaging in meaningful work that taps into your key strengths. If you’re out of work due to the pandemic, or your work is significantly reduced, well, that presents a problem.

Another area affected by the pandemic especially challenges you if you live alone: that’s relationships. If you’re a young and used to hanging out with friends on a regular basis, the closing or restaurants and bars can put a real dent in your sense of relational connectedness. If you’re a widow or widower accustomed to interacting with others at the senior center or church, the pandemic’s tossed all that into turmoil. 

Yes, there are very real challenges, but there are some positive steps you can take to help yourself live a richer, more fulfilling life, even during a pandemic.

Here are 5 Pandemic-Busting Happiness Activities:

1. Exercise. 

You don’t need a gym to exercise, regularly. A gym’s helpful, but not necessary. You just need a decent pair of shoes. Get out of the house and take a walk around the neighborhood. Don’t forget your mask in case you run into someone with whom you’d like to strike up a conversation. Conversation is another way to bolster your level of happiness, so be prepared. Exercise gets your heat-rate up and pumps oxygenated blood into your brain which is really, really good for your brain. Your brain loves oxygen! Studies show that a relatively small amount of walking every day boosts your mood and helps elevate your happiness.

2. Play Video Games. 

Now, this probably won’t be too helpful for the older set, so I’m adding a bonus at the end for you. Seriously, video games are a good way to get into a mindset known as flow. Flow happens when you engage in an activity that challenges you and keeps your mind occupied. Athletic activities, working puzzles, solving problems, and intriguing reading are among the activities that can induce flow. People sometimes refer to flow as “being in the zone.” During flow you’re totally focussed and often lose track of time. Playing video games can get your brain into flow. 

Now, to be sure, too much of a good thing can become a bad thing. So, be careful, but give yourself permission to indulge in a little Fallout or WOW or Animal Crossing, or whatever floats your boat. Within reasonable limits, video games are good for you, certainly better than the passive intake of other forms of entertainment like television or binge-watching old episodes of The Office.

3. Invest in Relationships. 

If you want to be happy, you’ll want to form and invest in deep, meaningful, personal relationships. During the COVID-19 pandemic, this has proven particularly difficult, especially for single people. Marriage provides a built in, full-time partner and companion in life. If you’re married, you’ll want to take advantage of the extra time with your spouse and be sure you’re putting in the effort to maintain a loving, supportive relationship. Whether married or single, with or without kids, relationships are vital to happiness. If you find yourself isolated and lonely, make the effort to connect with friends and family over FaceTime, Zoom, or Google Meet. You need intentional times of conversation and people with whom to share your life. This is where church small groups and Sunday School classes can be particularly helpful. You’ll want to make that extra effort, if nothing else, than to plan regular phone conversations so you can both give and receive the care and concern each person needs.

4. Make a Difference. 

Contributing to something bigger than yourself and your own happiness is a great way to actually bolster your happiness. Get your mind off you, your personal happiness (or sadness) and onto something, and, or someone else. Offering your time and energy to a worthy cause can help untold numbers of people and lift your sense of well-being as you make a difference. You can Google, Bing, or DuckDuckGo volunteer opportunities in your area, you’ll likely find an aggregate website with multiple ways of connecting to a variety of organizations making a difference while keeping a safe distance and protecting everyone’s health.

5. Take a Break from Social Media.

 During the pandemic you may be tempted to spend more time indulging some of your unhealthier habits, like watching too much television, or investing an inordinate amount of time on social media. Social media has it’s place. It’s a good way to keep up with friends and family from a distance. Some people use social media as a communication tool. However, the pitfalls often outweigh the benefits. Overindulging in social media can lead to comparisonitis, a term coined by Windy Dryden, a cognitive behavioralist. Comparisonitis is a nasty form of envy that gets hold of you when you constantly compare your real life with the Photoshopped and filtered lives people post on social media. Most of your friends don’t post their bad-hair-days, their down days, their challenges. They post happy, beautiful, cheerful moments. When you compare your regular, everyday life with the super-duper-happy-oh-so-successful life they share on Instagram, well, you’re life comes out looking kinda sorry. Take a break. You’re not seeing reality on social media, just a slice of the pie. It will do your brain some good to get off that constant comparison treadmill. Read a book. Write a blog. Play with your cat. Do something besides staring at your phone.

Bonus: Begin a Gratitude Journal.

Every day set aside a time to be grateful. Some people find this a helpful evening activity. Reflect on the day behind you and write down five or six things for which you’re thankful. You don’t have to be creative and come up with five new things every day. The important thing is that you spend time reflecting on those things for which you’re thankful. “I’m thankful for my friends.” “I’m thankful for my job.” “I’m thankful for YouTube.” I’m thankful for my spouse, my kids, my dog, my cat… Whatever it is, be thankful. 

Regularly practicing gratitude is one of the most potent activities you can do to boost your sense of well-being.

I’m convinced we’re designed for happiness. We can live blessed lives. Thankfully, we have these positive ways to keep our minds occupied, our bodies moving, and our lives engaged, even during the lockdowns, the shutdowns, and isolation of this pandemic.

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Check out the Video Version of this Post here: Cultivating Happiness

A Clean Slate

“Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving of life.” – George Macdonald

What’s your biggest regret in life? Students from Strayer University set up a chalkboard on a sidewalk near Petrosino Square in New York City. They wrote on the top of the board, “Write Your Biggest Regret.”

The chalkboard was filled to overflowing with written regrets:

Burning bridges

Not being a good husband 

Should have spend more time with family

Not saying “I love you”

Not being a better friend

Then, the students offered the bystanders an eraser and wrote “Clean Slate” at the top of the chalkboard. One young woman, erasing her regret, in tears said, “I feel hopeful. It means that there are possibilities.”

People we meet every day, including ourselves, carry a weight of regrets we normally hide below the surface. They, and we, need to know that freedom is found in Christ. During this season of Lent, may we experience the forgiveness that Jesus Christ provides for us through his cross.

What's On the Inside?

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” – Duke Ellington

Imagine you’re holding a cup of coffee when someone bumps into you, causing you to spill some. I realize for some of you losing any of your morning coffee is a triggering, painful prospect, but bear with me. If this happened, you’d spill coffee. You wouldn’t spill tea, grape juice, or cola. Whatever is inside your cup is what will spill if your cup is bumped or shaken.

Every one of us is a vessel. Looking from the outside, it’s difficult to know what we “contain.” But when life bumps up against us or shakes ups up, whatever is inside will come outside.

What’s in your cup? Is it love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Is it anger, bitterness, impatience, harshness, or a lack of discipline?

Life can be challenging. Prepare for it. When difficulties come its a great time to let love spill out on those around us so they can see Christ and learn to trust him in both the good and bad times.