Chris Howlett

Grant Me Serenity

Times are tough. The news is filled with more problems that surpass our capacity to cope. People are losing faith. 

What’s a person to do? Some give up and lead lives of “quiet desperation.” Others allow anger to fill their heart and soul. Others compromise their values for the sake of getting along. None of these is the right course of action. Then, what is?

In times like these, and really, any time, you need a heart of love, peace, and wisdom, none of which can be manufactured. They must be received. I’ve found the Serenity Prayer to be particularly helpful. You may be familiar with it. The prayer is utilized in Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-Step programs. What many don’t realize is there’s a longer, original version written in 1932 by Reinhold Niebuhr, an influential American theologian. His original follows:

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.

This prayer has helped me experience hope. God’s in control. I’m not. Serenity. Courage. Wisdom. These are in short supply but God's grace can provide all three. Yes, there are things out of your control. You need serenity. There are things in your control. You need courage and strength. Discerning what is in and out of your control requires wisdom. God loves you. If you'll turn to him, he will grant you all three.

Choosing Life

“The greatest gift we have is the gift of life.” – Mike Ditka

The earliest Christians were champions of life. Exposure and infanticide were widespread practices in the ancient pagan world. Christians responded by openly condemning these practices as well as engaging in benevolent activities to save and nurture these discarded human lives. For the early Christians “pro-life” was more than a political slogan.

Several weeks ago, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned its 1973 decision, Roe v. Wade, returning to the various states the responsibility of deciding the legality of abortion. This decision has been hailed as a great victory by the pro-life movement, and it certainly is. However, somewhere around half the states will maintain legal access to abortion. So, from the pro-life point of view, the effort to protect innocent human life persists.

We celebrate life and continue to make a difference in the lives of parents and children. There will be an increasing need in the area of pre- and post-natal care, adoption, emotional, financial, and spiritual support. We want to take this opportunity to offer the love of Christ and be a blessing to struggling families and children. The Christian response to unplanned and sometimes unwanted pregnancy does not end with birth. In many ways, it’s only the beginning.

I look forward to engaging fellow Christ-followers in finding tangible ways to be a blessing to our community during these changing times.

A Heart Strangely Warmed

“I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in Christ, Christ alone, for salvation; and an assurance was given me that He had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death.” – John Wesley

On the evening of May 24, 1738, John Wesley attended a Moravian Bible Study on Aldersgate Street, in London, England. Apparently they conducted Bible Studies differently in the 18^th century, because the leader was reading from the preface of a commentary on Romans written by Martin Luther. However odd that may sound to us, today, the words impacted Wesley and he felt his heart “strangely warmed” and put his faith in Jesus for salvation. This moment sparked the Methodist Revival.

The revival reached all corners of Britain and jumped the ocean to impact the Americas. Some historians credit the Methodist Revival with saving England from the chaotic upheaval experienced in France due to their revolution. By the turn of the 20^th century Methodism was far and away the largest protestant body in the United States. 

All of this from one heart-warming experience. When asked why God raised up the people called Methodist, Wesley replied, “To reform the nation, particularly the church, and to spread scriptural holiness over the land.” I believe we exist for just such a purpose. Look around. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we heeded our call to spread scriptural holiness, a heart-felt experience of salvation, and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to follow Jesus in thought, word, and deed?

I hope you feel your heart warmed by God’s love and share his love with others so they, too, can know the transformation of God’s grace.

An Atheist Teaches About Christianity

Christopher Hitchens was a well-known and outspoken atheist. A Unitarian Universalist minister, Marilyn Sewell, interviewed him and asked, “I’m a liberal Christian, and I don’t take the stories of the Scripture literally. I don’t believe in the doctrine of the atonement (that Jesus died for our sins, for example). Do you make any distinction between conservative and liberal faith?”

Hitchens responded, “I would say that if you don’t believe that Jesus of Nazareth was the Messiah, and that he rose again from the dead, and by his sacrifice sins are forgiven, then you’re really not in any meaningful sense a Christian.”

“Let me go someplace else,” Sewell replied, steering the conversation in a different direction. She wanted no part of that discussion.

This little encounter demonstrates you can speak all the “God-talk” you want, you can call yourself anything you like, but if you don’t trust that Jesus is the Messiah who died on the cross for our sins, rose from the dead, and will come again to usher in the fullness of God’s Kingdom, then you’re not, in the words of an atheist, “in any meaningful sense a Christian.”

The good news is that Jesus is who he says he is. He is Messiah, Savior, and Lord. He calls us to acknowledge this truth with our beliefs and actions.

Saint Patrick

Today is Saint Patrick’s Day. Some celebrate by wearing green and pinching those who don’t, others drink green beer (anathema to the Irish!!). A better approach is to reflect on the man for whom this day is named. 

As a boy, Patrick was kidnapped and taken into slavery from Roman Britain into pagan Ireland. He eventually escaped and fled back home. He became a devoted follower of Jesus, who then, filled with love for his former oppressors, was ordained bishop and sent to Ireland where God used him to proclaim the Good News about Jesus and convert the entire island to the Christian faith.

Many legends are told about Patrick. One has him driving snakes from Ireland. Another is that he used the shamrock to teach the doctrine of the Trinity. There may be truth behind these stories. The lesson that most resonates with our world today is Patrick’s loving forgiveness.

He was unjustly oppressed, yet, as he remembered the mercy and forgiveness of the Lord in his own life, he desired to offer grace to his former captors. When God transforms you, he transforms you! The lesson from Patrick is one of growth and discipleship. His love of God compelled him to love others, even his former enemies.

So, this Saint Patrick’s Day, look to God’s loving leadership as you grow in discipleship, reflecting more and more of God’s goodness and grace to a world that needs conversion.

It Pays to Read the Instructions

“A Bible that’s falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t.” – Charles Spurgeon

It pays to read the instructions. A teacher passed out a quiz and said, “Read all the instructions before you answer the questions.” The instructions consisted of a short paragraph at the top of the page. The last sentence said, “Write your name at the top of the page and ignore the questions below.” 

Three out of twenty students finished the quiz immediately. The rest labored for ten minutes answering the twenty questions below the instructions. Those students failed the quiz. Thankfully, the teacher didn’t count it toward their grade but he did teach an important lesson about listening and reading instructions.

God speaks to us primarily through the Bible. He inspired the scriptures in order to instruct us on who he is, who we are, and what he intends our lives to be and do. He has a perfect plan for a whole, holy, and happy life for everyone who puts their trust in him.

Take the time to listen. Give God an opportunity to teach. If you do so, you’ll be blessed and a blessing. It pays to read the instructions.

_______________________

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

You Can Change

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” – John Pierpont Morgan

A man bought a new radio, took it home and placed it on the counter. He plugged it in, tuned it to WSM in Nashville (home of the Grand Ole Opry), then pulled all the knobs off! He’d already tuned in to all he ever wanted or expected to hear. 

Another name for a comfort zone is a rut. You can get “rutted” in any area of life. Your marriage can be in a rut. Your job, your relationship with your kids, your physical health, your friendships, and so many parts of life can get stuck in a rut, including your spiritual life.

The good news is you don’t have to stagnate forever. You can change. God sent Jesus to offer an abundant life. You can partner with God to participate in his renewal. As you enter 2022 you might want to think and pray about what steps toward change God is calling you to make to grow into the person he’s empowering you to be.

Busting Happiness Myths: God Version

Does God owe you happiness? Does he even care if your happy? Is he actually opposed to your happiness and that’s why he made all those rules? Is your happiness even on God’s radar? 

I’ve been busting happiness myths (see here and here) and these particular happiness myths are some of my favorite to send packing. Myths about God and happiness are some of the most pervasive happiness myths out there.

We need to make sure we’re on the same page about what exactly happiness is and isn’t. Happiness isn’t limited to positive emotions, although it includes them. Happiness isn’t a surface-level giddiness or a fleeting feeling of euphoria. Happiness, what psychologists refer to as psychological well-being, what the Bible refers to as blessedness or shalom, is much deeper. Happiness is a state of being of wholeness, joy, optimism, connectedness, and contentment. It’s a flourishing life of meaning and fulfillment. It’s the life God designed for us to live.

Now we’ve defined it, let’s tackle some happiness myths that relate to God. 

Myth #1: God Owes Me Happiness.

I doubt many would say this out loud, but if they’re honest, somehow they’ve developed the notion that God owes them happiness. People believing they deserve happiness simply because they’re here is a relatively modern problem. When they read in the Declaration of Independence we’re endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights and among them is the pursuit of happiness, they see “happiness” and skip over the “pursuit” part.

The Bible clearly teaches God loves each person, regardless of their behavior or whether they acknowledge him, or not. It teaches that God desires people’s happiness. However, God endowed us with free will, which is essential to personhood. Sadly, we abuse our freedom and harm ourselves and others, often pushing happiness out of reach.

God wants you to be happy. He endows you with the freedom to pursue happiness, he gives you the tools to enjoy happiness, and he’ll even cooperate with you in producing happiness, but he does not owe you happiness.

Some believe this myth from the opposite direction. They believe God ought to prevent bad things from happening that detract from happiness. They erroneously believe God should protect from all harm, pain, suffering, and relational trauma, thus, preserving their happiness. 

I don’t say this in a flippant way, but the world is messed up. It’s broken. Humans, in particular, are flawed beings. The Bible teaches and experience confirms that everyone sins. We rebel against God’s loving leadership. We do our own thing which leads to all kinds of calamities. The problem is that we don’t have all the information we need to make wise decisions. Our impulses and desires can and do lead us down paths of self-destruction and end up sabotaging our happiness and the happiness of others.

God doesn’t owe you happiness. He desires your happiness. God has provided you with the means to happiness through a relationship with Christ. Jesus wants to forgive you and restore you to right relationship with God, recreate you into the person God made you to be, the person who can be perfectly happy and whole in this life and in the life to come. 

Myth #2: God Doesn’t Care About My Happiness

This myth contradicts the first, but myths aren’t logical. The first says God owes me happiness, the second that God doesn’t care about my happiness. If he owed me happiness, he’d certainly care about my happiness, wouldn’t he? Some people who believe and even promulgate the first don’t believe the second, and vice versa, but some at different times, or even at the same time, believe both myths at the same time. Humans are funny that way. We can think totally irrational thoughts and believe them to the core of our being.

Part of being a disciple of Jesus is learning to align your thoughts with God’s thoughts. A disciple of Jesus doesn’t want to have any beliefs or ideas that contradict the truth God reveals. But, we’re human. We’re broken and fallen and so that means our thought processes can be, and often are, off, mistaken, incorrect, not compatible with the truth. Learning to be like Jesus means submitting your mindset, your thought-patterns, your ways of thinking about yourself, God, and the world he created, submitting that to God, so that your mind can be conformed to the mind of Christ. He created the universe and all that’s in it. He knows. We’re learning.

In the Bible there’s this awesome verse that addresses our worldview, our thought patterns, our beliefs, and lining those up with the truth as God has revealed it: The Apostle Paul wrote:

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV). 

I love it! In the presence of a loving God we can examine our worldview, our thoughts, ideas, and beliefs, and allow him, the Author of Life, to transform our minds so we recognize and embrace the truth.

Back to the myth, that was quite a detour. Not to worry, this one’s easy!

Of course God cares about your happiness. He’s gone to great lengths to secure your happiness. Jesus even stated that his purpose in coming was to offer you an abundant life, a full life, a life of meaning and purpose, in short, a life of happiness. He said, “I came that they might have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).

That’s the truth! God didn’t put you on earth to make you miserable. The world can be cruel and happiness often is illusive, but God’s plans for you are for prosperity and peace, wholeness and holiness, in essence, happiness. 

There are more God-and-happiness myths that I’ll share in a future post. In the meantime, I hope you engage in an earnest and honest effort to know God, his love, and his plan for your happiness.

Busting More Happiness Myths

There is soooo much misinformation out there about happiness. I could probably write a dozen busting happiness myths posts. Happiness is misunderstood, both what it is and how to get there.

In an earlier post I wrote about five happiness myths. You can check it out here to catch up.  In this post, I share two more happiness myths.

Every single person wants to be happy. Living a meaningful, flourishing life motivates all your actions. Sadly, it seems that so many miss the mark and live far less than happy, sometimes even miserable lives. I’ve always been puzzled by this. If we’re all driven to happiness, why do so many engage in activities and attitudes that sabatoge their psychological well-being? Well, that’s a big question with lots of different ways to try to answer it. Happiness myths contribute to the problem. These are widely-held, but false, beliefs concerning what causes happiness.

If you want to be happy, (if you’re breathing, you do!) then you’ll want to understand and avoid the following Happiness Myths:

Myth 6: “I’ll be happy when…”

I refer to this as the “If/Then Fallacy.” The If/Then Fallacy teaches that if some set of outward circumstance changes, then you’ll be happy. The emphasis is on the outward circumstances. A lot of things fit into this fallacy. Other myths tie in also, such as “If I make x number of dollars, then I’ll be happy.” Poverty is definitely a drag on happiness, but earning a higher income or getting more stuff won’t help with happiness if you’re not impoverished. There’s plenty of evidence that a brief uptick in positive emotions does occur when you acquire a new physical belonging, but it’s temporary. Then, what if you paid for this new widget with a credit card simply to get that quick boost in mood? When the bill comes due, your psychological well-being can take a hit because of debt and the challenges that come with it.

Other expressions of the If/Then Fallacy go like this: If I get married, then I’ll be happy. If we have kids, then we’ll be happy. If I get that promotion, then I’ll be happy. If I had a bigger house… on and on and on, the cycle never ends and happiness remains ever illusive.

Happiness has more to do with your mindset and thought patterns than outward circumstance, no matter how good of bad those circumstances. Environmental conditions contribute to happiness, but your inner thought-life and attitude makes the biggest difference and can override even disastrously negative circumstances to contribute to long-term psychological well-being.

Myth 7: Someone owes you happiness. 

I want to preface this with a word about the importance of our responsibility to our fellow human beings. No person is an island. We’re individuals, but we’re connected. The pandemic is teaching us the hard way. We share so much of our lives, including the air we breath! We’re connected. What I do or do not do affects more than me. The attitudes I choose to adopt, the outlook I choose to communicate, the kind of work I do, all my choices affect others. We’re not alone. We depend on each other, and obviously others depend on us. So, we owe it to each another to be the best kind of people we can be.

Having said that, however, believing someone else is responsible for happiness in your life is a losing proposition. Healthy, positive relationships are vital for psychological well-being, but happiness is more than a give and take and you’re ultimately responsible for your personal happiness. 

Think about God. He created you to be happy. Jesus said he came to offer you abundant life (John 10:10). But you have to receive it. You have to apply Jesus’ teachings to your life. God loves you more than anyone and desires your happiness, but he’s not going to make you happy. Happiness is up to you. So, if God, who can do anything, isn’t responsible for your happiness, then neither is your significant other,  or your boss, or co-worker, or neighbor, or friend, or child. Please, don’t try to set your children up to be responsible for your happiness. 

No one owes you happiness. They do owe you to treat you with dignity. They owe you to live within healthy boundaries. They ought to treat you with respect. But, they don’t owe you happiness. Here’s a little secret: They can’t give you happiness, anyway, even if they wanted to make you happy. Frankly, that’s where boundaries get crossed and happiness proves even more elusive. When we blur boundaries between where you begin and another person ends and just who is responsible for what in a relationship, happiness flees.

The flip side of this, of course, is you’re not responsible for someone else’s happiness. You love those persons who are closest in your life, you want them to be happy, you want to do what you can do to contribute to their happiness, but you can’t make them happy. Only they can make them happy. Period.

Happiness, or the flourishing life, or psychological well-being is worth pursuing. When you’re happy you’ll contribute more to a happy world. God created you to be happy and he’s given you free will and the inspiration to make healthy, happy choices to experience the life you’ve always wanted to live, a happy, fulfilling, contributing life.

My next post will be “Myths: God Version.” What are some of the myths about God and his plan for happiness (or the opposite) that keep people from experiencing the flourishing life? Stay tuned for more.

The Agony of Defeat

It’s tournament time for Fall sports. High school soccer and cross country held their state championships last week. The World Series is under way. High school football  soon enters the playoffs. It’s a time for whittling down the field, hopefully watching the cream rise to the top. It’s a time for Queen’s “We Are the Champions” to blast from stadium speakers, for victory pile-ons, and trophy ceremonies. It’s also a time for losing. Most teams will end their season in the agony of defeat.

Think about it. In Kentucky, there are 195 boys soccer teams. Only one closes their season with a victory. The other 194 teams finish in defeat. In the last twenty years, only six schools in Kentucky have won a state championship. Realistically, the vast majority of the 195 teams have only the smallest chance of completing their season with a win. If winning is all there is, then most of these teams need to fold. If, on the other hand, there’s value in competition, working hard, doing your best, teamwork, etc. then sports is a great deal for the young people involved.

I’ll never forget the end of my high school soccer career, the glory days that’ll pass you by. In the Fall of 1985, the semi-finals of the state tournament, my team, Louisville Male High School fell to the eventual state champions, Tates Creek, in sudden death overtime (this was the era before political correctness reigned supreme and the adoption of the “Golden Goal” moniker). I was the goalkeeper. Sean Magsig, for Tates Creek, blasted a shot so hard I didn’t have time to react. As the ball sped past into the back of the net I made a desperate, but hopeless, attempt at a diving save. I stayed on the ground. It was too much to take in at the time. The agony of defeat stung for quite a while for that seventeen-year old.

Our coach, Coach Steve Ross, had begun the season asking what were our goals. We had several. We accomplished them all, save one, win the state championship. We were so close, yet so far away.

We wanted to win. We’d worked hard. We were a good team with tremendous support from our coaches, parents, and school. But winning was not to be.

I still have friends from that team, these thirty-six years later. We still get together from time to time to reminisce about the old times, the glory days. Thank goodness, for none of us, were those our actual glory days. We’ve all taken the lessons from winning and losing and moved on in life, pursued meaningful careers, marriage, had children of our own who’ve in their ways pursued their athletic and other performance dreams.

I was privileged to serve as an assistant coach at Paul Laurence Dunbar in Lexington for Coach Todd Bretz for thirteen years. For five more years, I coached with Coach Greg Conley at Marion County. That’s eighteen years of coaching. In those eighteen years, the teams I helped coach won three state championships. Fifteen seasons ended in a locker room consoling losing players, especially seniors. I can tell you, it’s a lot more fun to walk off the field with a win than a loss at the end of the year!

Winning’s not nothing, but it isn’t everything. Winning is important. It’s the goal of competition. Winning is more fun than losing. I’d rather end my season collecting a ring than licking my wounds.

We may actually learn more valuable lessons from the agony of defeat than the thrill of victory. The agony of defeat teaches that hard work doesn’t always work out the way we hoped. Often, hard work isn’t enough. Other factors come into play, many beyond our control. Winning, as great as it is, isn’t everything. Winning is something, it’s definitely worth pursuing, but it isn’t everything. The journey is just as important and the relationships you build along the way contribute to the character you develop in the pursuit. Those two things: relationships and character. These are the great benefits of competition.

At the end of the day, your brothers or sisters in arms and the inner growth and development you take away from the experience are what will serve you in the long run. And these aren’t consolation prizes. No, even if you win, the thing you’re going to take away for the long haul is not a championship ring that likely won’t fit in a year or two, but relationships and character… the stuff of life!

So, compete. Work hard. Give it your all. Contribute to the team. As you do, you’ll grow and learn, you’ll mature, and you’ll develop friendships and personal character that will bless you and others the rest of your life. That’s the win you want to take away.