Chris Howlett

Changed Circumstances or Changed Heart?

“No amount of regret changes the past, no amount of anxiety changes the future, any amount of grateful joy changes the present.” – Ann Voskamp

There was a mouse who was scared of cats until a wizard changed him into a cat. Then he met a dog, so the wizard transformed him into a dog. The mouse-turned-cat-turned-dog was fine until he encountered a tiger. So, once again, the wizard changed him into a tiger. When the tiger complained about meeting a hunter, the wizard refused to change him again. He said, "I will make you a mouse again, for although you have the body of a tiger, you still have the heart of a mouse!"

When we find ourselves dissatisfied with some aspect of life, we often look externally. We think, "If only my circumstances would change." However, a change in circumstances does not necessarily mean a change of heart. What we often need is a transformed heart. We need a heart filled with gratitude, joy, hope, and faith.

God loves you. He cares about your circumstances, but he may not necessarily want to fix them. What he does want is to fix you. He sent Jesus to change your heart. This week, surrender your circumstances and your heart to God. Ask the Holy Spirit to soften, shape, and make you more like Jesus. In doing so, you can experience the transformation you need to live fully, joyfully, and gratefully in the present.

Bible Reading 102

Recently I published a video on the Flourishing Life YouTube Channel titled Bible Reading 101. That video was intended to help you jumpstart or reboot a daily Bible reading habit. The outline of that advice is: Make a Plan, Share your Plan, Work Your Plan. Few habits in life stick if you don’t have a plan. It’s also important to remember that starting a new habit is like riding a bike, if you fall off the bike, jump right back on. Think of reading the Bible like eating, you’re taking in spiritual nourishment from God’s Word. If you skipped a meal, you wouldn’t quit eating, would you? No. So, if you miss a day or two in reading the Bible, jump back in, you’ll be glad you did!

In this post I want to offer some practical advice about getting the most from your Bible reading, especially if you’re new to this.

First, you want to pick a translation. The Bible was written in Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, so, if you’re a normal English speaker, you’ll want a good English translation. You’ll want one you both understand and enjoy reading. No translation is perfect, but for devotional Bible reading it’s best to pick one and stick with it. For in-depth Bible Study, it’s good to consult multiple translations.

Here’s a list of a few of the most popular English Translations:

The King James Version (KJV) is a beautiful translation and probably most influential document in English on the English language. However, it’s quite challenging for twenty-first century readers. Also, advances in the quality and numbers of Biblical texts and translation practice, make modern translations a better choice.

The English Standard Version (ESV) is my go-to translation. It’s written on about a tenth grade reading level and maintains much of the poetic language of the KJV. It’s actually the updated Revised Standard Version which is in the KJV family of translations.

The New International Version (NIV) is the most popular English translation. It’s written on the seventh grade reading level, so is accessible to more people. It is a solid, easy to read, good translation.

The New Living Translation (NLT) is an update of the Living Bible, which was a paraphrase. It’s an easy to read, highly dynamic translation that’s close to a paraphrase and is written on the sixth-grade reading level.

The Christian Standard Bible (CSB) is an update and re-branding of the Holman Christian Standard Version. I find it to be a good, easy-to-read, reliable translation that’s written on the seventh-grade reading level.

The Common English Bible (CEB) is a very dynamic, newer translation. It’s written on the seventh-grade reading level. I really like this one and the choices they’ve made to make it closer to the vernacular of the time. Not sure, however, how well it will age. Perhaps they’ll keep updating it, like other translations.

The Message is a paraphrase by the late Eugene Peterson. It is an excellent paraphrase. It’s written on about the fourth to fifth-grade level. Peterson was gifted at getting to the meaning of the text and communicating it in an approachable manner. Because it’s a paraphrase, I wouldn’t use it as my primary text, but it’s a wonderful tool for devotional purposes.

There are many more translations, but you won’t go wrong with any of the above. Pick one and stick with it as it will be helpful for scripture memorization and also getting a consistent feel for the whole story of God.

One of the reasons people fail to maintain a daily Bible reading habit is that the text can be so foreign to our ways of communicating and thinking today. There’s a wide gulf of time and a significant cultural gap between us and the Ancient Near Eastern world, where the Bible was written. When I was just starting out, and even today, I found a study bible to be a helpful tool. Study bibles contain notes that accompany the text to tease out meanings and offer contextual background, assisting you to understand what’s written and apply it to your life. If you understand what you’re reading, you’re much more likely to stick with it. So, below I’ve listed a few study bibles for your consideration.

The NIV Study Bible. I cut my teeth on the original version. It was a gift from my Dad when I showed a greater interest in discipleship and reading God’s Word. The current NIV Study Bible is an updated version and is probably the most popular study bible ever produced. It’s an excellent resource. It has amazing charts, maps, and illustrations in addition to it’s thorough study notes.

The ESV Study Bible is also excellent. From my perspective the notes seem to be a little more in-depth or scholarly, but it’s still very, very approachable for anyone just starting out reading the Bible. Like the NIV, it has maps, illustrations, etc. that are all helpful.

The Spirit-filled Life Study Bible (3^rd Edition)  shares the Charismatic/Pentecostal perspective. A favorite Bible teacher of mine, Jack Hayford, is the editor. I find it’s notes, etc. to be encouraging, informative, and uplifting.

The Life Application Study Bible (3^rd Edition) is just that, it supplies application notes more than information notes. It’s another wonderful resource for the growing Christian.

Like the translations above, you’ll not go wrong with any of these study bibles. I highly recommend any of them if you want to understand the Bible and apply it’s truths to your everyday life, which is the goal of devotional Bible reading. You can find these on Amazon, Christianbook.com or on their publisher websites which you can find by searching in an internet search engine.

Another couple of great resources online are BibleProject.com and BibleGateway.com. BibleProject produces videos and classes and a bunch of different resources that help you understand the story of the Bible. I can’t recommend it highly enough. All their resources are free. They also have a great YouTube Channel. BibleGateway is a terrific website with dozens of English translations, commentaries, and study bibles. To get the most out of it, you’ll want to subscribe to their premium service.

Many of these resources are modern, available on the internet or electronically. You can obviously purchase the physical Bibles, as well. But, I want to share with you something a bit older, but still applicable today:

John Wesley’s Advice for Reading the Bible:

Although Wesley was widely read in both theological and secular sources, he claimed to be homo unius libri, “a man of one book.” He even called himself a Bible Bigot.

In his preface to his Explanatory Notes on the Old Testament he shared seven guidelines for daily, personal, Bible reading. These are as useful today as they were in 1765 when he first wrote them:

To grow in the love of God and Christian maturity:

1. Set apart a little time, if you can, every morning and evening for that purpose

2. At each time if you have leisure, to read a chapter out of the Old, and one out of the New Testament: is you cannot do this, to take a single chapter, or a part of one 

3. To read this with a single eye, to know the whole will of God, and a fixt resolution to do it In order to know his will, you should, 

4. Have a constant eye to the analogy of faith; the connexion and harmony there is between those grand, fundamental doctrines, Original Sin, Justification by Faith, the New Birth, Inward and Outward Holiness. 

5. Serious and earnest prayer should be constantly used, before we consult the oracles of God, seeing "scripture can only be understood thro' the same Spirit whereby "it was given." Our reading should likewise be closed with prayer, that what we read may be written on our hearts. 

6. It might also be of use, if while we read, we were frequently to pause, and examine ourselves by what we read, both with regard to our hearts, and lives. This would furnish us with matter of praise, where we found God had enabled us to conform to his blessed will, and matter of humiliation and prayer, where we were conscious of having fallen short. 

(7.) And whatever light you then receive, should be used to the uttermost, and that i mmediately. Let there be no delay. Whatever you resolve, begin to execute the first moment you can. So shall you find this word to be indeed the power of God unto present and eternal salvation.

We who live in the twenty-first century are blessed to have the resources we have to help us read, comprehend, and apply God’s Word. God revealed himself through the Scripture. He also revealed who we are and what we need for salvation. If you’re a Christian and want to grow closer to God, read his Word. If you’re a seeker and want to learn more about God, read his Word. You’ll be glad and blessed.

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Link to Video: https://youtu.be/jKC5fN6hFlM

Positive Change in the New Year

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better person.” – Benjamin Franklin

What changed Saturday night? The day moved from Saturday to Sunday, the month from December to January, the year from 2022 to 2023. The date changed. This calendar change is different, however. With the New Year we experience a sense of hope, of new beginnings, and new possibilities. We’d like to think something significant might change.

The Christian faith is about change. We’re called to repent, turn to God, and believe the Good News. When we commit our lives to Christ it’s a huge change. This change ushers in more change as the Holy Spirit transforms us. The Apostle Paul wrote: “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Cor. 3:18 NIV). Just like any New Year’s resolution, the transformation we call discipleship requires effort on our part as we cooperate with the Holy Spirit.

What does God want to change in you this year? What vices or bad habits is he calling you to leave behind? What life-giving habits is he calling you to jump start? What kind of impact does God want you to make? God’s love transforms when we’re open to him. What’s going to change this year? You can!

**For help jumpstarting the habit of daily Bible Reading, check out this video.

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Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

Stillness and Sabbath

“I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.” – Blaise Pascal

Most people stay surrounded by and involved in busyness and noise. They feel they must stay busy in order to maintain a sense of usefulness and normalcy. They need to keep at it, keep going a hundred miles-per-hour so at the end of the day they feel they’ve accomplished something worthwhile.

We need sabbath. We need stillness. We need time to reflect and dream. There are few things more tragic than to spend a lifetime climbing the ladder of security, success, and significance only to find the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall. We need time for solitude, silence, and prayer to ensure our activities align with God’s design and desires for us.

Who does God want you to be? What does he want you to do? What’s his plan and how do you fit into it? These questions can’t be answered in the midst of busyness. If you’re too busy to sit still and listen to God, then you’re too busy. You might want to learn a new word, “No.” Sometimes you’re called on to say “No” to the good, so you can say “Yes” to the best. God always has the best in mind for you.

“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). Stop. Be still. Listen. God is with you. He wants to speak into your life. You need to be ready to listen and obey.

Grant Me Serenity

Times are tough. The news is filled with more problems that surpass our capacity to cope. People are losing faith. 

What’s a person to do? Some give up and lead lives of “quiet desperation.” Others allow anger to fill their heart and soul. Others compromise their values for the sake of getting along. None of these is the right course of action. Then, what is?

In times like these, and really, any time, you need a heart of love, peace, and wisdom, none of which can be manufactured. They must be received. I’ve found the Serenity Prayer to be particularly helpful. You may be familiar with it. The prayer is utilized in Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-Step programs. What many don’t realize is there’s a longer, original version written in 1932 by Reinhold Niebuhr, an influential American theologian. His original follows:

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.

This prayer has helped me experience hope. God’s in control. I’m not. Serenity. Courage. Wisdom. These are in short supply but God's grace can provide all three. Yes, there are things out of your control. You need serenity. There are things in your control. You need courage and strength. Discerning what is in and out of your control requires wisdom. God loves you. If you'll turn to him, he will grant you all three.

It Pays to Read the Instructions

“A Bible that’s falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t.” – Charles Spurgeon

It pays to read the instructions. A teacher passed out a quiz and said, “Read all the instructions before you answer the questions.” The instructions consisted of a short paragraph at the top of the page. The last sentence said, “Write your name at the top of the page and ignore the questions below.” 

Three out of twenty students finished the quiz immediately. The rest labored for ten minutes answering the twenty questions below the instructions. Those students failed the quiz. Thankfully, the teacher didn’t count it toward their grade but he did teach an important lesson about listening and reading instructions.

God speaks to us primarily through the Bible. He inspired the scriptures in order to instruct us on who he is, who we are, and what he intends our lives to be and do. He has a perfect plan for a whole, holy, and happy life for everyone who puts their trust in him.

Take the time to listen. Give God an opportunity to teach. If you do so, you’ll be blessed and a blessing. It pays to read the instructions.

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Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

You Can Change

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” – John Pierpont Morgan

A man bought a new radio, took it home and placed it on the counter. He plugged it in, tuned it to WSM in Nashville (home of the Grand Ole Opry), then pulled all the knobs off! He’d already tuned in to all he ever wanted or expected to hear. 

Another name for a comfort zone is a rut. You can get “rutted” in any area of life. Your marriage can be in a rut. Your job, your relationship with your kids, your physical health, your friendships, and so many parts of life can get stuck in a rut, including your spiritual life.

The good news is you don’t have to stagnate forever. You can change. God sent Jesus to offer an abundant life. You can partner with God to participate in his renewal. As you enter 2022 you might want to think and pray about what steps toward change God is calling you to make to grow into the person he’s empowering you to be.

Busting Happiness Myths: God Version

Does God owe you happiness? Does he even care if your happy? Is he actually opposed to your happiness and that’s why he made all those rules? Is your happiness even on God’s radar? 

I’ve been busting happiness myths (see here and here) and these particular happiness myths are some of my favorite to send packing. Myths about God and happiness are some of the most pervasive happiness myths out there.

We need to make sure we’re on the same page about what exactly happiness is and isn’t. Happiness isn’t limited to positive emotions, although it includes them. Happiness isn’t a surface-level giddiness or a fleeting feeling of euphoria. Happiness, what psychologists refer to as psychological well-being, what the Bible refers to as blessedness or shalom, is much deeper. Happiness is a state of being of wholeness, joy, optimism, connectedness, and contentment. It’s a flourishing life of meaning and fulfillment. It’s the life God designed for us to live.

Now we’ve defined it, let’s tackle some happiness myths that relate to God. 

Myth #1: God Owes Me Happiness.

I doubt many would say this out loud, but if they’re honest, somehow they’ve developed the notion that God owes them happiness. People believing they deserve happiness simply because they’re here is a relatively modern problem. When they read in the Declaration of Independence we’re endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights and among them is the pursuit of happiness, they see “happiness” and skip over the “pursuit” part.

The Bible clearly teaches God loves each person, regardless of their behavior or whether they acknowledge him, or not. It teaches that God desires people’s happiness. However, God endowed us with free will, which is essential to personhood. Sadly, we abuse our freedom and harm ourselves and others, often pushing happiness out of reach.

God wants you to be happy. He endows you with the freedom to pursue happiness, he gives you the tools to enjoy happiness, and he’ll even cooperate with you in producing happiness, but he does not owe you happiness.

Some believe this myth from the opposite direction. They believe God ought to prevent bad things from happening that detract from happiness. They erroneously believe God should protect from all harm, pain, suffering, and relational trauma, thus, preserving their happiness. 

I don’t say this in a flippant way, but the world is messed up. It’s broken. Humans, in particular, are flawed beings. The Bible teaches and experience confirms that everyone sins. We rebel against God’s loving leadership. We do our own thing which leads to all kinds of calamities. The problem is that we don’t have all the information we need to make wise decisions. Our impulses and desires can and do lead us down paths of self-destruction and end up sabotaging our happiness and the happiness of others.

God doesn’t owe you happiness. He desires your happiness. God has provided you with the means to happiness through a relationship with Christ. Jesus wants to forgive you and restore you to right relationship with God, recreate you into the person God made you to be, the person who can be perfectly happy and whole in this life and in the life to come. 

Myth #2: God Doesn’t Care About My Happiness

This myth contradicts the first, but myths aren’t logical. The first says God owes me happiness, the second that God doesn’t care about my happiness. If he owed me happiness, he’d certainly care about my happiness, wouldn’t he? Some people who believe and even promulgate the first don’t believe the second, and vice versa, but some at different times, or even at the same time, believe both myths at the same time. Humans are funny that way. We can think totally irrational thoughts and believe them to the core of our being.

Part of being a disciple of Jesus is learning to align your thoughts with God’s thoughts. A disciple of Jesus doesn’t want to have any beliefs or ideas that contradict the truth God reveals. But, we’re human. We’re broken and fallen and so that means our thought processes can be, and often are, off, mistaken, incorrect, not compatible with the truth. Learning to be like Jesus means submitting your mindset, your thought-patterns, your ways of thinking about yourself, God, and the world he created, submitting that to God, so that your mind can be conformed to the mind of Christ. He created the universe and all that’s in it. He knows. We’re learning.

In the Bible there’s this awesome verse that addresses our worldview, our thought patterns, our beliefs, and lining those up with the truth as God has revealed it: The Apostle Paul wrote:

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV). 

I love it! In the presence of a loving God we can examine our worldview, our thoughts, ideas, and beliefs, and allow him, the Author of Life, to transform our minds so we recognize and embrace the truth.

Back to the myth, that was quite a detour. Not to worry, this one’s easy!

Of course God cares about your happiness. He’s gone to great lengths to secure your happiness. Jesus even stated that his purpose in coming was to offer you an abundant life, a full life, a life of meaning and purpose, in short, a life of happiness. He said, “I came that they might have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).

That’s the truth! God didn’t put you on earth to make you miserable. The world can be cruel and happiness often is illusive, but God’s plans for you are for prosperity and peace, wholeness and holiness, in essence, happiness. 

There are more God-and-happiness myths that I’ll share in a future post. In the meantime, I hope you engage in an earnest and honest effort to know God, his love, and his plan for your happiness.

Busting More Happiness Myths

There is soooo much misinformation out there about happiness. I could probably write a dozen busting happiness myths posts. Happiness is misunderstood, both what it is and how to get there.

In an earlier post I wrote about five happiness myths. You can check it out here to catch up.  In this post, I share two more happiness myths.

Every single person wants to be happy. Living a meaningful, flourishing life motivates all your actions. Sadly, it seems that so many miss the mark and live far less than happy, sometimes even miserable lives. I’ve always been puzzled by this. If we’re all driven to happiness, why do so many engage in activities and attitudes that sabatoge their psychological well-being? Well, that’s a big question with lots of different ways to try to answer it. Happiness myths contribute to the problem. These are widely-held, but false, beliefs concerning what causes happiness.

If you want to be happy, (if you’re breathing, you do!) then you’ll want to understand and avoid the following Happiness Myths:

Myth 6: “I’ll be happy when…”

I refer to this as the “If/Then Fallacy.” The If/Then Fallacy teaches that if some set of outward circumstance changes, then you’ll be happy. The emphasis is on the outward circumstances. A lot of things fit into this fallacy. Other myths tie in also, such as “If I make x number of dollars, then I’ll be happy.” Poverty is definitely a drag on happiness, but earning a higher income or getting more stuff won’t help with happiness if you’re not impoverished. There’s plenty of evidence that a brief uptick in positive emotions does occur when you acquire a new physical belonging, but it’s temporary. Then, what if you paid for this new widget with a credit card simply to get that quick boost in mood? When the bill comes due, your psychological well-being can take a hit because of debt and the challenges that come with it.

Other expressions of the If/Then Fallacy go like this: If I get married, then I’ll be happy. If we have kids, then we’ll be happy. If I get that promotion, then I’ll be happy. If I had a bigger house… on and on and on, the cycle never ends and happiness remains ever illusive.

Happiness has more to do with your mindset and thought patterns than outward circumstance, no matter how good of bad those circumstances. Environmental conditions contribute to happiness, but your inner thought-life and attitude makes the biggest difference and can override even disastrously negative circumstances to contribute to long-term psychological well-being.

Myth 7: Someone owes you happiness. 

I want to preface this with a word about the importance of our responsibility to our fellow human beings. No person is an island. We’re individuals, but we’re connected. The pandemic is teaching us the hard way. We share so much of our lives, including the air we breath! We’re connected. What I do or do not do affects more than me. The attitudes I choose to adopt, the outlook I choose to communicate, the kind of work I do, all my choices affect others. We’re not alone. We depend on each other, and obviously others depend on us. So, we owe it to each another to be the best kind of people we can be.

Having said that, however, believing someone else is responsible for happiness in your life is a losing proposition. Healthy, positive relationships are vital for psychological well-being, but happiness is more than a give and take and you’re ultimately responsible for your personal happiness. 

Think about God. He created you to be happy. Jesus said he came to offer you abundant life (John 10:10). But you have to receive it. You have to apply Jesus’ teachings to your life. God loves you more than anyone and desires your happiness, but he’s not going to make you happy. Happiness is up to you. So, if God, who can do anything, isn’t responsible for your happiness, then neither is your significant other,  or your boss, or co-worker, or neighbor, or friend, or child. Please, don’t try to set your children up to be responsible for your happiness. 

No one owes you happiness. They do owe you to treat you with dignity. They owe you to live within healthy boundaries. They ought to treat you with respect. But, they don’t owe you happiness. Here’s a little secret: They can’t give you happiness, anyway, even if they wanted to make you happy. Frankly, that’s where boundaries get crossed and happiness proves even more elusive. When we blur boundaries between where you begin and another person ends and just who is responsible for what in a relationship, happiness flees.

The flip side of this, of course, is you’re not responsible for someone else’s happiness. You love those persons who are closest in your life, you want them to be happy, you want to do what you can do to contribute to their happiness, but you can’t make them happy. Only they can make them happy. Period.

Happiness, or the flourishing life, or psychological well-being is worth pursuing. When you’re happy you’ll contribute more to a happy world. God created you to be happy and he’s given you free will and the inspiration to make healthy, happy choices to experience the life you’ve always wanted to live, a happy, fulfilling, contributing life.

My next post will be “Myths: God Version.” What are some of the myths about God and his plan for happiness (or the opposite) that keep people from experiencing the flourishing life? Stay tuned for more.

A Recipe for Happiness? P.E.R.M.A.

Martin Seligman is a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania. He’s the Director of the Positive Psychology Center there, the director of the Penn Master of Applied Positive Psychology program, the former president of the American Psychological Association, the author of numerous articles in peer-reviewed journals, and something like nine books. 

Seligman’s a leader in the emerging Positive Psychology sub-discipline in Psychology. He’s developed a framework for understanding psychological well-being, or happiness, specifically five elements that work together to produce and maintain optimal mental, emotional, and spiritual functioning. His system is called PERMA. The elements are: Positive emotion; Engagement; Relationships; Meaning; and Accomplishment.

According to the University of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Center these five PERMA components are positively associated with physical health, job satisfaction, and commitment within organizations. It’s not only the individual who benefits from increasing happiness, but also organizations, and society as a whole. You might want to think about what you can do to enhance your life in each of these areas and how you can encourage others in your circle of influence to do the same.

Positive Emotion.

This is pretty simple. If you want to flourish in life, if you want a happy life, you’re certainly thinking about the role your emotions. Happiness is more than positive emotions, but it includes positive emotions.

Examples of positive emotions are: joy, gratitude, optimism, hope, and compassion. There are many others, but these are some of the big ones. Within certain limits, you can increase positive emotions, about the past: practice gratitude and forgiveness; about the present: savoring pleasure and mindfulness; about the future: by building hope and optimism.

Engagement.

Engagement is an expansion on Mihalyi Csikszentmihlyi’s concept of “flow.” You enter a flow mentality when your talents, strengths, and skills are engaged in challenging activities that keep your attention. The challenge holds attention so well that people who experience flow often report they’ve lost track of time, or that time has flown by during their flow experience. The challenge can’t be so difficult that you constantly fail, but it mustn’t be easy either, because that won’t hold your attention. Engagement, or flow, occurs when your energy and attention is focussed on the activity at hand. When you’re finished with flow, you may even say, “I was in the flow!” 

Flow activities can include athletics, reading, solving problems, working puzzles, engaging conversation, playing video games, even watching television or films (You’ll need to be careful of screen time because too much of a “good” thing can become detrimental). Whatever engages your mind and challenges your skills can contribute to “being in the zone” and experiencing flow. People who regularly use their strengths and engage in flow increase their happiness, or psychological well-being.

Relationships.

Healthy, positive relationships are important if you want to be happy. Humans are fundamentally social creatures. We were made for relationships. A whole range of relationships contribute to emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being, including relationships with spouse, children, friends, co-workers, neighbors, fellow church members, etc. It’s not necessarily a “more is better” equation, as it’s the quality of close relationships that are most impactful. If you want to be healthy and happy, a few close, good, mutually beneficial relationships are key.

Meaning.

Seligman defines meaning as belonging to and serving something bigger than the self. I don’t know if he would make the connection, but it’s similar to Maslow’s model of self-transcendence. To build meaning, you must shift the focus from you and your personal well-being onto the well-being of others. Meaning requires you to contribute to some cause, some purpose higher than simply satisfying your own needs and desires. There’s a bit of an irony here, because as you serve this higher purpose and build higher meaning in life, it does make your life better, a lot better. This is a major blindspot for our society, today, where people remain caught in a negative cycle of self-absorption. Contributing time and energy to religion, science, politics, work, social causes, etc. are among some of the ways you create meaning and enhance your sense of well-being.

Accomplishment. 

Seligman’s final characteristic is accomplishment, achievement, competence, success, mastery for it’s own sake. As you work toward and reach goals, you gain a sense of achievement. Graduating from high school, from college are examples of accomplishment. Even smaller goals that make up big goals are also important and impactful. Pursuing goals and achievement with perseverance pays off in well-being, even simply accomplishment for accomplishment’s sake. Sports, hobbies, games can all offer goals to achieve. 

Intrinsic goals, goals that are internally motivating offer a bigger payoff than extrinsic goals, goals that offer some external reward. Goals like personal growth and connection lead to a larger gain in happiness than money or fame.

In his book, Flourishing, Seligman reminds us of Eric LiddelL, the real-life inspiration for the film, Chariots of Fire. He was an Olympic runner who said, “God made me fast, and when I run, I feel His pleasure.” Liddel was successful. He achieved many of his goals, but the simple act of running well brought him a great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

That’s PERMA. It’s a rather helpful tool in pursuing a happy, fulfilling, meaningful, flourishing life. Seligman and others have modified the theory> He now talks about PERMA+ where the “plus” stands for Optimism, Physical Activity, Nutrition, and Sleep. Pursuing health in these areas contributes to happiness. I’ll delve into this expanded theory in a future post.

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YouTube Version Here: https://youtu.be/t6oV44sY4-A