It’s tournament time for Fall sports. High school soccer and cross country held their state championships last week. The World Series is under way. High school football soon enters the playoffs. It’s a time for whittling down the field, hopefully watching the cream rise to the top. It’s a time for Queen’s “We Are the Champions” to blast from stadium speakers, for victory pile-ons, and trophy ceremonies. It’s also a time for losing. Most teams will end their season in the agony of defeat.
Think about it. In Kentucky, there are 195 boys soccer teams. Only one closes their season with a victory. The other 194 teams finish in defeat. In the last twenty years, only six schools in Kentucky have won a state championship. Realistically, the vast majority of the 195 teams have only the smallest chance of completing their season with a win. If winning is all there is, then most of these teams need to fold. If, on the other hand, there’s value in competition, working hard, doing your best, teamwork, etc. then sports is a great deal for the young people involved.
I’ll never forget the end of my high school soccer career, the glory days that’ll pass you by. In the Fall of 1985, the semi-finals of the state tournament, my team, Louisville Male High School fell to the eventual state champions, Tates Creek, in sudden death overtime (this was the era before political correctness reigned supreme and the adoption of the “Golden Goal” moniker). I was the goalkeeper. Sean Magsig, for Tates Creek, blasted a shot so hard I didn’t have time to react. As the ball sped past into the back of the net I made a desperate, but hopeless, attempt at a diving save. I stayed on the ground. It was too much to take in at the time. The agony of defeat stung for quite a while for that seventeen-year old.
Our coach, Coach Steve Ross, had begun the season asking what were our goals. We had several. We accomplished them all, save one, win the state championship. We were so close, yet so far away.
We wanted to win. We’d worked hard. We were a good team with tremendous support from our coaches, parents, and school. But winning was not to be.
I still have friends from that team, these thirty-six years later. We still get together from time to time to reminisce about the old times, the glory days. Thank goodness, for none of us, were those our actual glory days. We’ve all taken the lessons from winning and losing and moved on in life, pursued meaningful careers, marriage, had children of our own who’ve in their ways pursued their athletic and other performance dreams.
I was privileged to serve as an assistant coach at Paul Laurence Dunbar in Lexington for Coach Todd Bretz for thirteen years. For five more years, I coached with Coach Greg Conley at Marion County. That’s eighteen years of coaching. In those eighteen years, the teams I helped coach won three state championships. Fifteen seasons ended in a locker room consoling losing players, especially seniors. I can tell you, it’s a lot more fun to walk off the field with a win than a loss at the end of the year!
Winning’s not nothing, but it isn’t everything. Winning is important. It’s the goal of competition. Winning is more fun than losing. I’d rather end my season collecting a ring than licking my wounds.
We may actually learn more valuable lessons from the agony of defeat than the thrill of victory. The agony of defeat teaches that hard work doesn’t always work out the way we hoped. Often, hard work isn’t enough. Other factors come into play, many beyond our control. Winning, as great as it is, isn’t everything. Winning is something, it’s definitely worth pursuing, but it isn’t everything. The journey is just as important and the relationships you build along the way contribute to the character you develop in the pursuit. Those two things: relationships and character. These are the great benefits of competition.
At the end of the day, your brothers or sisters in arms and the inner growth and development you take away from the experience are what will serve you in the long run. And these aren’t consolation prizes. No, even if you win, the thing you’re going to take away for the long haul is not a championship ring that likely won’t fit in a year or two, but relationships and character… the stuff of life!
So, compete. Work hard. Give it your all. Contribute to the team. As you do, you’ll grow and learn, you’ll mature, and you’ll develop friendships and personal character that will bless you and others the rest of your life. That’s the win you want to take away.
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