Tempted to Run Away?

“We do not exist for ourselves.” – Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

I was plotting my escape! I drew a map of the neighboring houses and farms and knew of an abandoned farmhouse about a mile behind the parsonage of Rockfield UMC in rural Warren County. I had ridden horses past this old house many times. I’d explored the leftover artifacts of a family who had lived there decades ago. It was isolated and dry. There was a small pond nearby where I could catch catfish on which to survive. I had it all planned out. 

My parents were totally unreasonable! They expected me to do homework and stay out of trouble in school. How unfair is that! People. Who needs ‘em? I was going to strike out on my own and live the solitary life. So, I set out, map in hand, a few oatmeal cookies to tide me over and hope for a new life, a new, isolated life where I could be the boss of me.

Relationships can be tough! People can be unreasonable and difficult. We can be unreasonable and difficult. Everyone has a self-will and those wills often clash and conflicts arise. What are we to do? Withdraw from others? Disconnect from community? Run away to an island of isolation where we can call the shots, all of them, all of the time?

Well, we weren’t made for that kind of life. We were created for community. We are social beings and we need relationships. Relationships always involve other people and other people are just as broken and messed up as we are, so that means our relationships will be challenging at times, perhaps even most of the time. But, life is made richer, better, and happier because of relationships. We’ve just got to learn how to navigate them and regulate our emotions so we can contribute to others in positive ways.

God created us in his image. I believe the biggest part of what it means to be in the image of God is our relationality. We’re built for relationships. When Adam and Eve messed up and separated themselves from God, God launched a rescue mission to redeem, renew, and restore broken relationships. We are created for restoration and hope. Because we have the example of Jesus, who laid down his life for us, we also are able to lay down our lives for others, even when they don’t deserve it.

On the way to my new home of independence and freedom I began to feel I might actually miss my parents and brother. The isolated life seemed less attractive. I wondered what it would be like in the abandoned house after dark. I turned around and returned home to a family who loved me and wanted the very best for me even if I needed to mature and act more responsibly. Yes, relationships can be challenging, but every one of us needs to be challenged. We all have rough edges needing to be smoothed. We grow through our relationships. Community creates better versions of us and the world needs better versions of us if they’re going to see Jesus.