"All mothers are working mothers." - Unknown
What's for Mother's Day Dinner? The answer is usually a local restaurant. It's interesting that in so many homes, the food preparation is still mostly handled by Mom. Sure, Dad can find his way around a grill, but even then he depends on Mom to prepare the sides and set the table. So, if we're going to give Mom a break we head to a restaurant. The restaurant business loves this, but the situation says something about gender roles and the load of responsibilities that moms are asked to bear.
What it says about gender roles is that while we as a culture have spent the last fifty years (or more) attempting to redefine gender roles, basically trying to abolish them, making husband's and wives roles identical in the home, or more equitable, or shared, but it hasn’t really succeeded. While a far greater percentage of mothers with children under age 18 who are working at paid jobs outside the home today than in the 1950s, a corresponding decrease of the load of domestic responsibilities on moms has not occurred. Moms are still mostly responsible for laundry, housework, food prep, clothing shopping, etc. Dads, generally, take care of the physical plant: mowing, weed eating, fixing things that break, etc. Hours spend on these responsibilities pale in comparison to the responsibilities of moms.
I am aware of dads who shoulder their part of the domestic burden, so I don't need the emails informing me of all the wonderful things you guys are doing. I am speaking in generalities, and generally speaking, moms, in addition to working full-time outside the home, continue to shoulder the majority of the work inside the home.
This is a big part of what's behind the SuperMom Syndrome that many young women struggle with in today's world. They want to work and be career women, they want to raise a family, and that entails working two full-time jobs. Mom is already a huge job, really far more than full-time. Adding a second full-time career on top of that already demanding responsibility is crushing.
Solutions? Well, I think there might be a few options. Let me outline in the broadest terms what I see as a sensible, Christ-centered approach. First, if you don't have time for God in your life, you're far busier than God wants you to be. Second, if you are exhausted all the time, you are far busier than God wants you to be. I have a feeling that for many working moms, this is the constant reality. So, there's a desperate need to lighten the load. There are several approaches: 1. Dads need to pick up the pace in a major way, sharing the domestic role equally (by the way, kids can do housework, too). 2. Put the career on hold and be a stay-at-home mom. This might seem drastic, but drastic times call for drastic measures. This might mean downsizing the house or number of cars, and a host of other cost-cutting measures. We tend to want to live at a much higher standard of living than one income can support and call it "need." 3. Significantly lower housekeeping standards. The family unit might not like this, but if they’re not willing to jump on #1 and if they’re not willing to take the financial hit of #3, then the standards must come down. Sure, you need to maintain a healthy and sanitary environment, but the incessant pursuit for the elusive perfect home is going to have to wait. I haven't even broached the single-mom dilemma!
There's more to all of this. The main thing is that moms are frazzled. Our culture's insistence on the SuperMom Syndrome is not healthy for moms, dads, or kids. It certainly isn't doing anything for the Kingdom of God, which is the main thing life is supposed to all about. Remember Matt. 6:33?
Well, this eVotional is way too long. So be sure to be in worship this Sunday as I share the next message in the "You Can't Do It" series: "You Can't Be SuperMom." This is a message for the whole family!