The quality of our relationships determines a big part of the quality of our lives. Of all the contributors to personal happiness, relationships may be the most important one. Happiness is more than a fleeting feeling or a simple emotional high. Happiness is a deep sense of life satisfaction, fulfillment, and joy. Happiness is what God designed us to experience.
The message from this Sunday, Wired to Connect, we focused on the fact that part of being a human being, part of being a person created in the image of God is to be a person with a tremendous capacity for relationship. Our very being is expressed through the relationships in our lives. The first and most important relationship, the one that gives energy and meaning to all my other relationships is my relationship with God. Jesus Christ gave himself to extend the relational love he enjoys with the Father and the Spirit to us. We want to live out the love of God in our love of one another.
So, how can my relationships be improved? How can I move the center of myself off of me and stop isolating myself from others, and instead, focus on how I can share love with people, and to serve the purpose of God in my life? I want to share some brief relationship pointers:
1. Receive love, yourself.
The Bible teaches you to love your neighbor as you love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you're not going to have any love to give to your neighbor. Know that you are a child of God, worthy of the love of God, and worthy of love from yourself. You are a person of value and worth and you have much to offer others.
2. Ask every day, "How can you encourage those around you?"
If I begin the day moving the central focus off of me and onto others, I will be more prepared to see people as individual persons worthy of my love and care, and I will be more willing to encourage them. You would be surprised, first, of how much others need your encouragement, and how well they respond when you offer an encouraging word.
3. Watch your categories.
It is the human condition to categorize persons according to socioeconomic level, race, gender, education, job status, etc. We pigeonhole people into a certain category so it simplifies our lives and informs how we treat people. A guy in a nice business suit will almost always be better receieved and treated than someone who is unshaven wearing worn-out old clothes. God's love is expansive and knows no limits. Seeing all persons as worthy of love because they are created in the image of God will radically change how we treat others.
4. Let go of past hurts.
Life hurts sometimes. If you give yourself in relationships, you will be hurt eventually, and most of us have already experienced the pain of broken relationships. Forgiveness is costly, but incredibly freeing. Oftentimes, most of the time, the main person we hurt by our lack of forgiveness is ourselves. The greatest cost of unforgiveness can be the lack of intimacy and joy we experience in future relationships due to our lack of freedom relating to others. Giving God our hurts enables us to experience healthier, life-giving relationships.
5. Make your relationship with God your priority.
There is one person who you can count on absolutely. God. Everyone else can and will disappoint you from time to time. God is absolutely dependable. God also enables and empowers you to live a life of grace and service for others. If I am in a strong relationship with God, it frees my to give myself more fully to my spouse, to my children, and to my friends. Knowing the love of God empowers me to share freely my love with others. Jesus Christ is the perfect example of a humble, generous, and loving person. he is our example for relationships.
Life really is all about relationships. God created us so that he could be in relationship with us, extending the love of Father, Son, and Spirit to all people. Unfortunately, some people reject this love and isolate themselves from the ultimate source of happiness and peace. Don't be that kind of person. Receive the love of God so you can give your love freely to others.
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