In my message, Blessing the Blessing, Family Guys & Gals, part 4, I used a hilarious video clip from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The clip was Veruca Salt's tantrum in her father's business, insisting that her dad find one of Willy Wonka's golden tickets, granting her entrance to the Wonka factory. Veruca is a caricature of a spoiled, self-centered, out-of-control brat, who's father bends to her every request, regardless of how outrageous it is.
I haven't met many Veruca Salts in my life. However, I am afraid there is a more subtle expression of self-centeredness that is rampant in our culture. You can discipline this child, have high expectations that are met by this child, even raise this child in the church with a commitment to "Christian" values. This more subtle version of Veruca Salt learns how to behave in polite society and is adept at camouflaging her self-centeredness in civil language and behavior.
Plenty of kids learn early how to act in public, make great grades, never get in any trouble, but are still very self-focused and self-centered. The whole point of existence in this subtly self-centered life is getting into the right school so I can get the right job so I can make a lot of money for me to have all the luxuries and conveniences that make my life more comfortable. Children learn this self-centered way of being from self-centered parents.
Now, let me be clear, I believe every person needs to apply the gifts and talents God has given them to the best of their ability. Children need to learn how to work hard, make the best grades they are capable of making, and use their strengths and talents to maximize their contribution to the world. Hard work, good grades, good schools, good jobs are all good things.
The problem is in motivation. Jesus taught an ethic of self-denial. He said to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow him. He gave himself as a sacrifice of love for the world. We need to teach our kids, primarily by living the self-denial ethic, to live for Christ and be Christ-centered. To be Christ-centered is to love freely, to give generously, and to serve selflessly. To be Christ-centered is to see one's talents and strengths as gifts from God to be used for God's mission of helping the world be the place God intended it to be.
Self-centered or Christ-centered? The irony of it is that to live selfishly is to live unhappily, but to follow Christ in selflessness is to discover the joy of a fulfilling, meaningful life. You have to lose your life in order to find it.
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