Chris Howlett

Ash Wednesday: The Journey of Lent

Today is Ash Wednesday. It is the first day of the season of the Christian Year called Lent. Lent is a time of preparation for Easter and the waters of baptism and new life.

What can you do this year differently during Lent?

I was reading another blog the other day by someone in the "emergent" crowd talking about Lent:

"A couple of years ago, after the 10th person told me they were giving up chocolate for Lent I became extremely frustrated and decided to produce a Lenten guide that encouraged people to make some meaningful sacrifices during this season."

Lent is not about "giving something up" it's not even about making "some meaningful sacrifices." Lent is about penitence. Period. That's what it is. Penitence.

Originally, Lent was a time of preparation for candidates for baptism. The baptisms were being held exclusively on Easter, and the period of time prior to Easter became associated with a season of self-examination and penitence for the candidates for baptism, called catechumens.  Fairly soon after this became widespread, other Christians recognized that an extended period of penitence and focussed prayer was spiritually beneficial to anyone, not only the catechumens, and so the observation was extended to include all the faithful.

Need to be careful. Anything related to the Christian Year can easily become religion. Religious people were the ONLY people to whom Jesus had anything negative to say. To be religious is to miss the mark. There is no way around this truth. I am not advocating for a low-church, anti-Church Year view, I am arguing for a via media, a middle way. Methodism has long been associated with the middle way that was prevalent in the Church of England, from which Methodism rose as a renewal movement. 

The purpose of Lent is self-examination. Jesus went to the cross for a simple reason: sin. Sin separates people from God. Sin includes actions and attitudes which deceitfully encourage our independence from God. We are not independent from God, though, so sin is falsehood. Jesus referred to Satan as the 'Father of Lies." Appropriate. So, Lent is a journey to the truth: the truth that my sin is a barrier between me and God; the truth that my sin is my fault; the truth that God's love is undaunted by my sin; the truth that in the Cross of Jesus Christ, my sin is forgiven.

I have been forgiven, but... there remains in me a "bent to sinning." When, with the Holy Spirit's help, I overcome some sinful habit or deceitful way of thinking, another layer of the onion is uncovered, another manner in which I have been and am sinful, but am only now seeing it for what it is. The process begins again: confession, forgiveness, cleansing, and new creation. Ooops, there's something more, another layer!

So Lent is not for seekers and new believers alone. Lent is a journey for all followers of Christ. As a matter of fact, the closer I grow to God in spiritual maturity, the more aware I become of my own brokenness and sin. So, I need repentance. I need a time of self-examination. I need a renewal of my prayer life. God is love. He's waiting for me to turn to him, to turn to the truth, to receive his help, his comfort, and his peace. May Christ and his peace be your companion during this season of Lent.

One last thing: The word, "Lent" simply means "spring." Nothing at all spiritually important about the word, it just describes the time of year it is observed.

Mardi Gras

I've never really understood Mardi Gras. Oh, I know that "Mardi Gras" means "Fat Tuesday," that it is the day before Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, and that originally it was a day when people feasted on the foods they weren't allowed to eat during Lent (this was prior to electricity and refrigeration, food would spoil, so might as well jump in and enjoy!). No, I mean the Mardi Gras of today. The Mardi Gras of Bourbon Street. The Mardi Gras of parades and plastic beads. I don't get it.

First of all, I think it's pretty much lost it's original purpose. Not many folks who celebrate Mardi Gras are going to be fasting that much during Lent. Even if they were, we have freezers now.

It's an excuse to throw a huge party. I don't need to list all the behaviors and revelries associated with Mardi Gras, you can just as easily find that out anywhere on the internet or the news tonight and tomorrow. But, you know what I mean. By the way, what's up with the beads? Again, I just don't get it. Maybe someone more enlightened can help me.

In a limited defense of Mardi Gras, I was in New Orleans several years ago (pre-Katrina) for a conference. I was staying with my good friend, Trey Harris, who, at the time, was pastoring Algiers United Methodist Church, right across the river from New Orleans, proper. It was just before the season of Mardi Gras, and public workers were busy all over the city putting up bleachers and barricades, getting ready for the various parades held in different neighborhoods. Trey noted that many of the parades are great family friendly community events that give neighbors an opportunity to hang out and have a little fun together. So, it's not all debauchery, I guess. One of the things I enjoyed about New Orleans was the laid back attitude. It was laid back, all the way back. I think Kentucky is fairly laid back compared to other places in the United States, but New Orleans puts us to shame in laid backness!

One good thing about Mardi Gras: King Cakes. Ever had one? They're goooood.

Well, I'll probably spend a rather quiet Mardi Gras. Who knows, I might run across the street to Great Harvest and grab one of those King Cakes! 

Waiting for My Kid

Well, I have never done this before. A long time ago I downloaded this app for my iPhone that allows me to post to the blog from anywhere. So, here I am, waiting for Josiah to get done swimming at the Y. I needed to run down to the hospital to make a visit, he wanted to go to the Y, so I dropped him off, visited the hospital, and now I'm sitting in the parking lot waiting. I should probably go inside and step up on one of those fancy treadmills.

Self-Centered or Christ-Centered

In my message, Blessing the Blessing, Family Guys & Gals, part 4, I used a hilarious video clip from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The clip was Veruca Salt's tantrum in her father's business, insisting that her dad find one of Willy Wonka's golden tickets, granting her entrance to the Wonka factory. Veruca is a caricature of a spoiled, self-centered, out-of-control brat, who's father bends to her every request, regardless of how outrageous it is.

I haven't met many Veruca Salts in my life. However, I am afraid there is a more subtle expression of self-centeredness that is rampant in our culture. You can discipline this child, have high expectations that are met by this child, even raise this child in the church with a commitment to "Christian" values. This more subtle version of Veruca Salt learns how to behave in polite society and is adept at camouflaging her self-centeredness in civil language and behavior.

Plenty of kids learn early how to act in public, make great grades, never get in any trouble, but are still very self-focused and self-centered. The whole point of existence in this subtly self-centered life is getting into the right school so I can get the right job so I can make a lot of money for me to have all the luxuries and conveniences that make my life more comfortable. Children learn this self-centered way of being from self-centered parents.

Now, let me be clear, I believe every person needs to apply the gifts and talents God has given them to the best of their ability. Children need to learn how to work hard, make the best grades they are capable of making, and use their strengths and talents to maximize their contribution to the world. Hard work, good grades, good schools, good jobs are all good things.

The problem is in motivation. Jesus taught an ethic of self-denial. He said to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow him. He gave himself as a sacrifice of love for the world. We need to teach our kids, primarily by living the self-denial ethic, to live for Christ and be Christ-centered. To be Christ-centered is to love freely, to give generously, and to serve selflessly. To be Christ-centered is to see one's talents and strengths as gifts from God to be used for God's mission of helping the world be the place God intended it to be.

Self-centered or Christ-centered? The irony of it is that to live selfishly is to live unhappily, but to follow Christ in selflessness is to discover the joy of a fulfilling, meaningful life. You have to lose your life in order to find it.

A Tale of Two Brains

You're going to love this.

Top Ten Rules Lists

Okay, by popular demand here are the lists:

Top Ten Rules for Women, from Men:

10. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
9. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us griping about you leaving it down.
8. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 


7. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
4. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
3. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
2. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

Top Ten Rules for Men, from Women

10. The correct answer to “Do I look fat?” is never, ever “Yes”.
9. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
8. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer or prettier.
7. You’re wrong.
6. You’re sorry.
5. Her haricut is never bad.
4. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap.
3. Her cooking is excellent.
2. That isn’t an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
1. Rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor for twenty hours while you coach her how to breath isn’t fair either, and this balances everything.

These are a compilation of a bunch of other lists I found in various sources on the internet. Amazing what you can find on the internet about marriage. Most of it is not fit to use!!

Check back later in the week, I'm going to post another funny video... hilarious, really, about why men and women think differently.

Communion in Marriage

In my message, "Love Life: Family Guys and Gals, part 3", I quoted the theologian, John D. Zizioulas. He is an Orthodox Metropolitan who used to teach theology at the University of Glasgow. A metropolitan in the Orthodox Tradition is like an archbishop in the West. He's a bishop who oversees other bishops and priests. Anyway, he's a brilliant theologian and one of the leading theologians of our day, particularly in the area of Trinitarian Theology. He is on the "cutting edge," although he is on the cutting edge by reaching way back and helping us understand the theology of some of the Eastern Church Fathers.

Here's the quote from the preface of his new book, Communion and Otherness:

In our culture protection from the other is a fundamental necessity. We feel more and more threatened by the presence of the other. We are forced and even encouraged to consider the other as our enemy before we can treat him or her as our friend. Communion with the other is not spontaneous; it is built upon fences which protect us from the dangers implicit in the other's presence. We accept the other only in so far as he or she does not threaten our privacy or in so far as he or she is useful for our individual happiness (1).

Zizioulas claims this natural fear of the other is a result of the Fall, and that this fear of the other is even expressed in our fear of the Other par excellence, God. This inbred fear of the other results in all kinds of injustices and prejudices on a macro level of society, but also is very damaging on the micro level as we experience distance in our most intimate relationships.

Marriage is the most intimate of all human relationships, yet even in marriage, there exists a fear of fully giving of myself to the other, to my spouse. I fear this full communion for various reasons. One is the fear of rejection. If I give myself fully, I may be rejected. Another is the fear of a lack of full reciprocity. If I give myself fully, he or she may not give himself or herself fully back to me. Then there's just plain old fear. I fear you because you are not me.

Indeed, sin and our sinful patterns of behavior damage our capacity for true communion, yet it is the diminished capacity for communion with the other that decreases our ability to be who we are created to be, decreases our capacity for a fulfilling, happy, and abundant life.

We are created for communion... communion with God and communion with others. In marriage, the most intimate communion is possible, yet how many of us truly experience this closeness we need because of our own fears. If God loves me fully, as I am, then I am free to love myself and then offer myself fully to my spouse because I am offering something that is fully lovable. In marriage, we give and we receive, we share and we take, we experience the blessedness of knowing and being known. However, for any communion to take place, first we are in desperate need of grace. Grace creates communion. So, how can I open myself to God's grace, to the grace of my spouse, and offer grace?

First Dance

If I could figure out how to embed this video here I would... I'll work on that... but for now, I thought this was a nice complimentary video to my message: "Love Life: Family Guys & Gals, part 3." Hang in there with it, it looks like just a normal first dance at a wedding until the second minute, then it gets fun!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QujA8YYgTWU

Faith and Family

Families are funny. We’re all a part of a family, though some of us have tried to run from our families because they have been so painful. We’re still related, though. You can change a lot about yourself, your address, your look, you can even change your name. You can change your jeans, but you can’t change your genes.

How we relate to our families has a large impact on how we relate in all our other relationships. Proponents of Family Systems Theory have a lot of good things to say about that, much of it is solidly Biblical. In this series of messages at Christ Church, we’ll be exploring many of these ideas: what does the Bible say about “family”? How can I be healthy in my family? How can my family be healthy? What does it mean to be in God’s family?

Today I want to lift a scripture from the message and delve a little bit deeper than I had time in the morning message. It is one of the Ten Commandments:

"Honor your father and your mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God will give you." Exodus 20:12 (NLT)

This is an interesting verse in that it is the only one of the Ten Commandments with a promise attached, a motivational clause, if you will. The promise is that the people will live long in the Promised Land. Remember, they are in the wilderness when this commandment is given. They have yet to enter Canaan. They are not yet where God wants them to be and God thinks there is a connection to their living out his promised blessing and their honoring their parents.

The whole Exodus narrative is full of the word “Remember.” Remember that you have been liberated, that your life has purpose. It’s important that parents pass down this information, that it be fully understood and integrated into the next generation, and the next, and the next…

The command to “honor” includes among its original meanings the idea to “be heavy,” to “give weight” to something, not to “take lightly,” but to treat with the appropriate seriousness. Parents are not to be blindly obeyed but to be respected, to be listened to, to be taken seriously. They’ve been there before.

God’s promised blessing, that we will live in the Promised Land, has yet to be fully fulfilled, and if parents aren’t taken seriously, aren’t honored, aren’t respected, who knows, we may forget there is a blessing at all.

Every generation struggles with a kind of uni-generational narcissism that is under the delusion that nothing worthwhile occurred before them. This temptation is strong. It is especially strong in times like today when technology changes so rapidly, when the previous generation finds it hard to keep up, thus seeming irrelevant to the demands of today. Watch out!

My parents have far more to offer than I think they do. I believe this commandment is to be applied even more to adult children. God wants to pass on a blessing. Your parents may not have been people of faith, but there is a faith that is ancient and is far more relevant than you could possibly imagine. Families, as imperfect as they are, being made up of imperfect people, are an important key to transmitting this ancient faith with all its future implications.

I believe part of honoring my parents is my willingness to forgive them for being imperfect people. I only hope my own children will forgive me.